I'm Just Saying...

The Letter Z

2010-02-23T04:49:00.002-06:00

Z is the twenty-sixth and last letter of the English alphabet. But how do you pronounce it?

Zee or Zed?

Zed is the name of the letter in Great Britain, India, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and most other places on earth where English is used. But in America they call it zee.

Is one letter name correct and the other wrong? Let's investigate history, shall we :).

The nutshell story of zed? Zed entered Middle English from French representing a “ts” or “ds” sound, then came to represent the voiced sibilant in, for example, the word zoo. Because it entered French from Latin as zeta, it became zède in modern French, zeta in modern Spanish and Italian and zed in English.

The letter name zee, now American, was not invented in America. The letter has actually had eight or more names during its long sojourn at the bottom of the English alphabet: zad, zard, zed, zee, ezed, ezod, izod, izzard, uzzard. One of those names is zee, a dialect form last heard in England during the late seventeenth century. That name was brought to America by British immigrants, perhaps not on the Mayflower but very early indeed in American history.

In the first great dictionary of English in 1755 (there were other, lesser wordlists printed earlier), Dr. Johnson opined “Z . . . zed.

In 1828 Noah Webster, the mighty American wielder of word clout, guaranteed that zee would predominate in the United States. In Webster’s magisterial American Dictionary of the English Language he stated: “Z . . . It is pronounced zee.”

The Concise Oxford Companion states, “The modification of zed ... to zee appears to have been by analogy with bee, dee, vee, etc."

Lye’s New Spelling Book(1677) was the first to list “zee” as a correct pronunciation.

Does all this really matter? Not really, but it explains a few things. And I'm all about being informational about all things Canadian to my fellow America friends.

How about a Zed-28, eh?!

Tune in next week when we discuss the differences between re and er. (just kidding)

~Kelly

365 Days

2010-02-20T00:13:00.002-06:00

A lot can happen in a year. This time last year I made a guest appearance at St. Mary's. They liked me so much that they invited me to stay for 6 weeks. I must have made a very good impression.

Since that day, a lot has happened:

~ I developed a relationship with God that has taken me to places that I never knew existed.

~ I learned that the people you least expect to be there for you, are there, 100%. And unfortunately, some of the ones that should be, sadly, are not.

~I gained a lot of respect for the United States medical system. In Canada, the US system is referred to as "terrible". Terrible it is NOT!

~I found strength in myself that I didn't know I had.

~I realized that God WILL be there for me through anything!

I often think about the whole "experience" and I am grateful. As today grew near, I had fear, even some dreams about the past. But today, I celebrate!

I celebrate:

~Being part of a divine miracle

~A precious baby boy

~My friends and family that made it all possible

~Life

~And death because I now know if that had been the end result for me that everything would still be ok

~As much time as God gives me with my kids

So, thank you God and thank you friends that supported me with your prayers and love. I will never forget this journey.

Kelly

Working Girl

2010-02-01T11:25:00.003-06:00

8 steps to shock your system.

1. Be at stay-at-home mom for 5+ years

2. Have a thought or two about going back to work

3. Stop by your local choice of employment, fill out an app, just for fun

4. Have interview #1

5. Have interview #2

6. Get hired, full-time

7. Start on Monday

Pay particular attention to the last step because it's most important....(drum roll please)

8. Do it all in one weeks time.

Now, sit back and watch your body not know if it's coming or going. Expect sleepless nights, although you are exhausted. An upset stomach and inability to get up in the morning, on time, is usual for most. Forgetting to take a lunch to work may happen since, in the past, food was within reach, at all times. Expect many mini-break downs because the tasks you used to take for granted are now being done by someone else.

~Kelly, working girl

Pounds To Go

2010-01-19T14:21:00.005-06:00

I started a diet today. I've been on a new diet 203,485,382 days in a row now.

I've been overweight since, about age 13? Looking at my parents, I am not sure where I got this fat gene, but I got it, rather, it's got me. Over the years I have been on the soup diet, the cabbage soup diet, the orange diet, the weight watchers diet (3times), the I'm just gonna starve myself diet, the if I only eat a little bit of chocolate I'll be ok diet and the ever famous, I'll start again tomorrow diet. Some have worked but never lasted.

I am currently on the, make it to noon, then pig out diet. I must say, I am enjoying it. I don't even feel like I'm on a diet some days!

When I was in college I weighed, around 180 lbs. I had struggled over the years but have never hit such a number. I made myself a promise, at that time, that I would NEVER see the scale hit 200. So, I became a vegan, exercised until I dropped and lost 50 lbs. I worked at it, hard and it stayed off for years. When it slowly creeped up I was able to take it back down.

When I first met Todd I weighed 128 lbs and I ran 3-5 miles, 4-6 days a week. The gym and I were best buds. I was single, kidless and motivated to be healthy. I ate right and look good (if I do say so myself).

Then the children came along. After Lily, I hired a personal trainer and managed to get almost all of the baby weight off. Then came Alex. I lost 25 lbs in the first 6 week. About 6 months later, I put it all back on. I was teetering close to that dreaded 200 lbs. I fought over the next year or so to get the weight off but it wouldn't stay off for long. When I got pregnant with Nathanael I weighted 194 lbs. During that pregnancy I saw the scale hit 200 and continue on...... The day before I delivered Nathanael the scale read 216. Yikes!

So, here we are....dieting again. Exercising.....ummm, never. I am in a funk and discouraged and eating myself into bad health. I have something wrong with my stomach. Not, the something, a tums can cure. It's the stabbing pain through my chest, feel like I could vomit, something. And what do I do about it?? Well, the $162.00/month prescription is out of the question. The scope, that will add more $$$ to our bazillion dollars of medical bills is out of the question. And apparently, the moderate junk food, no soda, bland food only, diet is out of the question too. So, I eat crap and endure pain on a daily basis, just to fill my face or void, whatever that may be.

I wonder what it is going to take? I pray that God gives me the guidance I need or plainly, kicks me in the right direction before I regret not taking better care of my body.

So, a new diet it is again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Kelly

"We Don't Use That Word In Our House Mom"

2010-01-12T12:33:00.006-06:00

I HATE the dentist!! Well, not all dentists, personally, just going to the dentist. I hate the smell. I hate the sound. It makes me cringe.

Why?? Well, I was born with an allergy to milk. So, I had powdered milk, or goat's milk (yuck) instead. Not sure why it didn't occur to someone to give me a calcium supplement, but in any case, I spent many a day in the dentist chair as a child. The inside of my mouth looks like a checker board due to all the fillings. Couldn't anyone have come up with a better color for fillings?

Then, there was the whole wisdom teeth pulled, dry socket experience, from last spring. Seriously, who would think something so small, like a tooth, would cause so much pain!!

Then there's my daughter. Bless her naive little heart. "Mama, I want to go to the dentist". "Pretty please". Well, sure thing. Let me check around for prices. Ok, Dr. so-and-so, how much is a pediatric cleaning? $180.00?!?! After they revived me, I told Lily we would have to wait on that for a couple of months! God must have realized how much Lily wanted to go to the dentist because He sent me a coupon, via a MOPS friend, so that we could get the big first visit for about a quarter of the price!! Hooray!! Thanks Jen!

Lily was soooo excited. She has been counting down the days since I made the appointment. And today, was the big day!!! Boy was she excited! She brushed her teeth extra long this morning. She was so cute to watch. She was all giddy, as if she was going somewhere fun. I love the enthusiasm children have. Oh, to have enjoyment in the simple things of life again.

As soon as we opened the door, that smell, you know, that one dentisty smell, the smell that you cannot find anywhere else, hit me. Picture me shivering in yuckiness. I mean, I didn't want to be rude and hold me nose, but ewww. It just has too many bad connotations.

Lily got to sit in the big chair. I could tell she was nervous, not knowing anything about the process. But she is a trooper. She sat there, with a huge smile, enjoying every minute of it. The hygienist was super nice and so great with Lily. She explained everything, step by step. She had her teeth cleaned with strawberry toothpaste. Yummers! Her exam showed no cavities!!! And that she brushed well, as she had very little plaque. Yippee!! She had her picture taken twice, one of her teeth and one of her smiling with her newly cleaned chompers :).

When the dentist came in to meet her she only had one question. "What are you going to do?". Once he said he was going to count her teeth, she relaxed. Seemed simple enough. She was beaming when they presented her with a new toothbrush and sparkle toothpaste. The icing on the cake though was getting a toy from the toy box.

The entire experience was great. She even had to stop at Pop's on the way home to show him her shining teeth :). She cracks me up!

I hope to ride the "I love the dentist" wave for many years to come.

Christmas

2009-12-29T22:26:00.007-06:00

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given--when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes."
~ Joan Winmill Brown, American author and editor.

I have many wonderful memories of Christmas as a child.

I remember the year, my brother and I got a VCR. And the year we got a hockey net!! A hockey net!!! I mean, how cool is that???

I remember that we would have friends and family over on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I remember that my mom would cook all day. And the relatives would start piling in mid-afternoonish to swap gifts and eat a feast (well, unless there was a home show...hehe, just a little inside joke...).

I remember after dinner we would all sit around and enjoy some good laughs. There would be phone calls to family members that lived out of town and then some more laughs.

In 2002, Christmas changed for me. That was the year I came to know Jesus Christ as my savior. Thinking back, the first couple of years, although I had been saved, Christmas was still not really centered around Christ's birth. I am happy to say that this year will be a memorable one, for sure. The kids are old enough to understand the real Christmas story and, well, this past year, something in me has changed.

Christ has a much larger portion of me that He has ever had in the past. He definitely got my attention this year and I am nothing but grateful for it.

This year I spent night after night talking with the kids about the birth of our Savior. We made our first birthday cake for Jesus. I struggled with the whole Santa thing. I even contemplated telling the kids the truth....but I chicken out.

I felt like, God would be proud of me this year :). I hope to make 2010 a year to remember. A Christ-centered year.

Please Pray

2009-12-17T14:14:00.001-06:00

http://Brutton.wordpress.com/

Too Many Frogs

2009-12-15T04:49:00.005-06:00

WARNING: THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN BY AN OVER-TIRED, CRANKY MOTHER. IF YOU ARE IN A GOOD MOOD, DON'T READ IT. IT WILL BRING YOU DOWN! IF YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD, DON'T READ IT. IT MAY JUST SEND YOU OVER THE EDGE!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Christmas is supposed to be about sharing and caring. Talking about the birth of Jesus. Spending time with family, doing things, that only come once a year.

This Christmas season, it has been about how many things we can cram into one month, exhausted kids and exhausted parents. And we still have a couple weeks to go!!!!

December has looked like this:

1st: Dr's appt. Cancelled due to insurance. Have I mentioned how much they suck?

Make cookies for WNAC (cookie press broke).

2nd: WNAC meeting. I was responsible to hand out prayer cards to all the ladies for the month of Dec. Cookies and crafts. Yearly nominations, to which, by some misunderstanding I got nominated for three positions. I will be taking two.

3rd: Arts 'N' Crafts with Santa at the Fox Service Center, through Parents As Teachers.

4th: Prepare for Pampered Chef party and weekend birthday party.

5th: Niece's birthday party, which involved ice skating in Forest Park, followed by Incredible Pizza.

6th: Sunday school, worship, subway, Pampered Chef Party, clean-up, evening church service

All Angel Tree gifts are due in. 50 some-odd gifts are handed into me, to organize and package up to deliver.

7th: Start planning for the kids Christmas party/Angel Tree party

8th: Alex wakes, covered in hives. Babysitting the pastor's daughter so that he can be at the hospital with a church member who is having surgery. Alex's hives fade but return in the late afternoon. My dr. calls, wants to schedule an ultrasound for chest pain.

9th: Alex wakes, face, hands and feet are swollen. Take Lily to preschool, then Alex to the dr's. Plans to meet someone at ASLS are cancelled. I cancel lunch plans with a friend because of Alex. Alex has a "mild virus". Whatever that means.

10th: Deliver the first Angel Tree gifts. Keep Alex home from school because he is not feeling well. Have to go to school anyway to pick up an Angel Tree gift and Pampered Chef order. Off to Schnucks to pickup special order gift cards. The dr's office calls. He has Strep G. What is that? They don't treat it and don't want to see him?

11th: Ultrasound of gallbladder, liver and pancreas. Take Lily to school. Deliver Angel Tree gifts. Do some errands for Christmas party. Todd leaves for Men's Retreat.

12th: Todd gone to retreat. Spend the entire day making cookies and running errands for the kids Christmas party. Angel Tree kids come at 5pm. Party ends at 8ish. Three Angel Tree gifts delivered:). Maybe home in bed by 11?

13th: No one wants to get out of bed. Sunday school, worship, Christmas cantata, lunch, deliver Angel Tree gift, pick up Lily, to church for 4pm, kids practice for their play, Alex to church at 5:30, kids Christmas program, everyone collapses in a heap of exhaustion.

14th: Take Lily to school, accompany her class to sing at a nursing home, take her back to school, go to Dollar Tree, church to get Angel Tree gift (last one!!!), clean out the flower room where all the Angel Tree stuff is kept, bank, Pakmail, post office, pick Lily back up, feed kids lunch, deliver Angel Tree gifts, Walmart to buy b-day present, home, wrap present, do a couple house things, off to party, stay til 9pm, Nathanael cranky all day (sick)?, kids can't go to sleep, way over tired, Nathanael throws up on me and the bed, change sheets, put big kids back to bed again, awake now with a crying baby, put him in the swing, blog to vent about the craziness.

15th: Nathanael is scheduled to have immunizations. The last ones causes crying for hours, temp of 103 and vomiting.

16th: MOPS meeting. Making cake. Kids perform at ASLS for their Christmas program.

17th: Alex's Jesus b-day party at class. Parents responsible to make crafts, games and run it. I am bringing....something...

18th: Lily's Jesus b-day party.....ditto from above! Evening, MOPS Christmas party.

19th: Sunday school Christmas party for adults. No babysitter as of yet.

20th: Kids have secretsanta gift exchange at church.

Ok, so maybe it's me but that's just too many frogs!!!!! I mean, on top of all the running, is laundry and errands, and bills and bills and bills, and groceries, and work outs and time to buy presents? When am I suppose to worship my Lord? Or read His Word? I fall asleep praying at night. I am interrupted in the morning. Barely have time to eat a meal with the family some days.

I am making myself and God a promise that, next year will be different. I know I am blessed and I am not complaining that I am busy from three kids. I am complaining about all the "Christmas responsibilities". It's just nutty. It's 5:27 am, Nathanael is finally asleep in the swing. I am dreading the rest of this week.

My parents are arriving on the 23th. I expect days of crazy kid behavior and lack of sleep while they are here. My fear, is that by January, I am going to be one BURNT. OUT. MAMA.

Today....

2009-11-19T08:22:00.004-06:00

FOR TODAY....

Outside my window.....It's raining. Again. I know that God is giving all things nature their sprinkling of love but they gotta feel pretty loved by now! The leaves are almost gone from the trees. Once a year I can see the street at the bottom of the hill behind my house. I have never quite figured out what that white building is. And I'm not curious enough to find out.

I am thinking.....about the mess that is in front of me. It's ponies and crayons and books and puzzles. And that's just my kitchen table. Yep, my kitchen table. Thankfully I am in the mood to clean it today. Thinking about the week winding down. It's been a week full of odd events that have thrown me off my routine. Completely! I am excited that the kids are off school all of next week!

From the kitchen.....It was cheerios and milk, upon request, for breakfast today. I like these kind of days. I feel like a better mother when I fill their bellies full of something warm and yummy but I am grateful for a simple request today. I can see the yummy Amish bread I baked the other day. It's calling me. My lips say YES! Unfortunately, my hips say NO!

I am creating.....a family binder. Something to organize my frazzled mind. I used it years ago and am not quite sure why I quit. I think I found it took too much time to organize. LOL! You can find the tools for the binder here

I am going.....to be very proud of myself for finally blogging. Except the real credit goes to Amber Once again, she has inspired me. I am also going to enjoy the peace and quiet. It won't last for long.

I am wearing.....pink and white striped (with just a hint of sparkle) jammie bottoms with a hot pink Toronto Maple Leaf pj top.

I am reading.....Espresso For Your Spirit: Hope and Humor for Pooped Out Parents. I have been reading if for about 4 months. I am also glancing through Parent's Magazine. I only read the articles that really appeal to me. Otherwise I am left feeling like a failure after reading all the wonderful vacations and crafty things all these wonderful mothers are doing with their kids! And of course, The Bible!!

I am hoping.....for answered prayers. For Serena, who is battling ALS and is VERY sick right now. For Kelly, who had colon cancer and is still having treatments and awaiting more surgery. For Madeline Rose, an 8 month old, with a serious heart condition. For Freda, my friend's mom, who is paralysed after back surgery. For all those who do not know God that they someday come to know Him as a loving God. And the list goes on and on.

I am hearing.....the sound of the laundry, spinning. The cat pushing his water bowl around the kitchen floor. A television set, in a distance, somewhere in the house. The faint sound of God telling me that He loves me. Always.

Around the house.....is a sleeping baby. Toys scattered EVERYWHERE. Bins of clothes to sell. Bins of clothes to give away. Bins of clothes!!! Is a hard working husband. Is a grateful wife, for that hard working husband. The makings of three more Amish bread kits. Ahhh!! Traces of kids playing, kids learning and kids loving God. And this.

It reads "Oh, give thanks to The Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever". Psalm 106:1

And this...

One of my favorite things.....is that the sun JUST came out. It certainly is a beautiful fall day. Fall is my favorite time of year. I love seeing all the leaves. Makes me miss home. This is where I should be inserting an amazing picture of Hamilton, in all it's glow of yellow, orange and red. But, simply put, you don't realize what you've got until it's gone. I never took any pictures. I just took it for granted. So, I cheated.

Pictures do not do justice to it's beauty.

A few plans for the rest of my week.....To buy my sweet daughter a reward. A simple reward. For no longer sucking her fingers!!!!!!!! What an accomplishment for her. And she is so proud. And maybe I am a bit too :). To take a trip to Goodwill to get rid of some bins. Did I mention the bins??? To organize my pantry. To meet my new Parents as Teachers lady (and pray she is more person-friendly than the last one). To attend a birthday party and maybe a bonfire with friends (although the babysitting is not looking good). To help Lily practice for the Christmas play at church. To fix the bunk beds, the curtains, the shelves, the pictures in Alex's room that he "loved" too much. To hear all about "Grandparent's Day" from Lily and Alex. To enjoy every waking moment with my baby, watching him grow. To meditate on Deuteronomy 32:4.

So, today, this is how I see the world around me.

Life These Days...

2009-10-21T22:55:00.002-05:00

is great!

is tiring.

is busy.

chaotic but GREAT!

So many things have changed over the past several months and we are still adjusting,

to a new baby.

to a three kid family

to a new church (or old church, depending on how you look at it)

to new friends and old friends

to preschool

but it's all great!

And I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Nathanael, who is now 6 months is just the bestest baby ever! He is sweet and doing so well.

Lily and Alex are in preschool (except this week 'cause we all got the ~~kickyainthepants~~ swine flu). Lily is loving it and doing well. Alex, hmmm, doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to get dressed, doesn't want to share...you see a pattern here?

We are back at Grace! I know, WHAT?? Yep, back at Grace and feeling God's love like never before.

Everyone's healthy and God is so good! Really, what else is there?

Dedicated to...

2009-09-21T21:47:00.009-05:00

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

I believe that God has placed people in my life, as they say, for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When I think about that saying, I can think back to friends that have come and go. There are very few that have been around a long time. I have one friend that is so near and dear to my heart. We have been through many, many years of joy and sadness together. And I truly believe that we will be together, as friends, for a lifetime.

Her name is Kathy and I love her with my whole heart!!!

LOL!! These pictures are from when we were in high school. Gosh, did we ever have fun together. Sadly, I do not have any recent ones. I need to work on that!

Kathy:

~is an amazing mother of two boys

~currently works, finding housing for the homeless

~is the woman behind the scenes of this talented artist

~doesn't like chocolate that much. What?? I know, I know!

~serves a dairy-free diet to her entire household, because one of her sons can't have it

~encourages her boys to catch snakes. Yep, you read that right!!

~is one of the most outdoorsy, laid back women I have ever met

~is smarter than the average bear

~is crazy but I love her!!!

Here's a few memorable snip-its from our friendship over the years:

~hours and hour of laughing and sharing

~we made up a "secret code" so we could write letters back and forth, without her cousin being able to read them (makes me lol just typing it)

~we printed up signs for our bedroom door, stating no boys allowed (but of course it was all in code, so we were the only ones that knew what it meant) (again, LOL).

~she purposely snagged her hair all up in one of those round brushes to stall me because she knew flowers were on their way to my apartment. And then she couldn't get it out!!!

~she introduced me to her cousin, who I went on to date for 8 years

~"Benson"...you just had to be there.

~when I left my first husband, I had no where to go. She took me in, no questions asked.

~when I said I had to leave for a while to "clear my head", she took care of my cats, even though she had nowhere to keep them

~when I had my first baby and couldn't get myself together emotionally, she offered to fly down, asap, even though she had a baby of her own

~recently when I was in hospital, she checked in on me almost daily

~she calls and emails and has even emailed Todd (even the wrong Todd, right Kat, lol), just to make sure I am ok, at all times

~she is the one friend that has been there for me, no matter what, over all these years

~she has NEVER judged me

~if I needed her here tomorrow, she would be here

~there is so, so much more, so many more personal things, so many more crazy and fun things, so much more laughing and sharing than I could ever mention.

So, this post goes out to you, Kathy. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for being my friend and loving me unconditionally.

10 on the 10th

2009-08-10T22:13:00.015-05:00

I recently read about this super fun bloggy thing called 10 on the 10th. Go here to see where it originated.

Basically, on the tenth of each month you list 10 things, any 10 things. It sounded fun and I thought I would give it a whirl.

Doing laundry always brings on many surprises. Often I hear a clang or a bang in the dryer and now, I almost test myself to see if I can tell what it is without looking. These are the 10 things recently found in my dryer.

1) Divot remover and golf tee (clearly, Todd's)

2) Green car (owner...Alex)

3) Nail clippers. Since I am the only one that does the clippin', I will have to take the blame.

4) Golf tees (again Todd). Get the feeling you know what Todd does in his spare time??

5) Utility somethin' or other. Yep, that's what I was told it was called when I asked. And again, belongs to Todd.

6) Ink pen!!! UGH!! Found weekly. Bet you can guess who owns it!!! Unfortunately I have yet to acquire a new wardrobe from a pen explosion.

7) Car wash token (ahem...mine)

8) Candy wrapper from a small piece of chocolate from Kazakstan. Yes, really! And boy was it yummy. And although we all had some, only one person put the wrappers in his pants pocket. Yep, you guessed it. My man, Todd :).

9) Loose change. I am truly not sure who's it is so I'll take the blame. Makes me feel better, since I already slipped it into my wallet.

10) And last but not least.......

Hehehe. Well, it's true, just not as excited. What can I say....it's all I got!

Night all!

A Child's Prayer

2009-07-28T21:11:00.007-05:00

Lily caught her first frog on the weekend. She was so excited. Todd sent her in the house, thinking for sure that I would say, take it back outside. When she asked if she could keep it, I said sure, got her a plastic container and a bowl of water for our new pet.

Well, needless to say, the frog was not thriving. This morning we convinced Lily, against her will, that she needed to let him go today, before he croaked (LOL, sorry, I couldn't resist). She was pretty devastated.

Then we jumped in the car and headed to Border's for story-time. We listened to "Get The Sillies Out" about the Yo Gabba Gabba gang. Then we colored, cut and glued some pictures together while eating a cookie and drinking milk. It was the first time we had been to the story-time and I really enjoyed it. I think the kids did too, lol.

We grabbed a quick drink then headed to Todd's office to say hello. We stayed and visited for a few mins, then headed home. After lunch we painted ceramics for a while. Painting is one of the kid's favorite crafty things to do. Lily could paint for hours, if you let her.

We watched a movie, ate dinner, had a bath and were all ready for bed. Todd had to work really late, so at the last minute we decided to put together dinner for him and run it over to his office. He was really surprised to see us. We hung out while he munched on some of the yummies we took him.

Once home, we read a couple books and settled in for the night. The best part of my day was Lily's prayer......

Dear God, thank you for Nathanael, that he is sick. Make him better soon. Thank you for froggie. I let him go. I hope I can get another froggie soon. Thank you for us going to that place we went to today that we hadn't been to before. Thank you for going to daddy's office and giving him hugs for bedtime. Thank you for today. Thank you for loving us. I love you God. Amen.

I Am Thankful For...

2009-07-26T23:16:00.003-05:00

I started this post off with the title of "Grumblings". I wanted to quickly spout off all the things that are annoying me today...some small, some not so small.

But instead, I decided to write about this.....

I am thankful for:

~a healthy, happy baby who melts my heart with just a smile

~a healthy, happy 3 yr old, who is smart and funny

~a healthy, happy 4 yr old, who is caring and gentle

~a husband who works very hard to provide for all our needs

~the garage door has held on for another week

~my flowers out front are still alive

~being able to sit outside today in the shade due to a beautiful breeze

~chocolate cake

~that when asked, God will forgive me for my shortcomings today

Emergency 911

2009-07-16T18:30:00.012-05:00

Remember this show?

Emergency 911. It ran from 1972-1977. And for some reason, I remember it well, even though I was very young when it was on.

On Monday I took the kids to Fire House No.1.

When we entered the inside of the fire house I was struck with how similar it was to the tv show. It was exactly the same! Same kitchen set-up. Same old comfy chairs in front of their television. I mean, it was really weird, lol. Wouldn't you think they would've upgraded in the last 30 years. Although, they no longer have the fireman pole. Bummer!

After the "boring" stuff we went to the firetruck.

They climbed all over the truck, in and out, several times.

They got to see the "jaws of life"...

Compare the size of a truck tire to Alex...

See a real fire fighter in all his gear. Alex did not like the look of the mask or the sound of the oxygen tank...

We had a really great time, all thanks to fire fighter and family friend, Frank...

Thanks Frank. Love ya bud!!!

The Tooth Fairy and The Three Little Bears

2009-07-14T22:19:00.010-05:00

Lily has been doing her chores and saving her allowance for what seems like forever (to her). In reality, it has been about 6 weeks. We were at West County a couple months ago when Lily spied Build-A-Bear. It's been a long time since we have been to B-A-B and she was literally crying because we wouldn't take her there. Lily doesn't cry over many things. She is a pretty good talker, briber, manipulator, if you will... When she cried, I thought two things 1) she is very tired or 2) she really wants a Build-A-Bear. She has saved every cent she has received since that day.

On Saturday, something wonderful and exciting happened!! Lily lost her first tooth :).

She had been recently told by a 5 year old friend of hers that the tooth fairy did not exist so she had a lot of questions about how it was all going to work.

"Mama, are you going to put the money under my pillow for the tooth fairy?"

"Who put the money for you when you were a little girl?"

"What if the tooth fairy doesn't come?"

I could see the concern in her eyes as I said, "We'll just have to wait and see".

The morning started as usual...the kids playing, trying to occupy themselves while Mama wakes up. Then I heard it. Excitement! Lily came in with a bag of coins. In the bag, there was a letter from the tooth fairy, telling her that she did a good job brushing her teeth and that she had taken the tooth in exchange for this little treat. We then found a trail of pixey dust in her room. It was all very exciting (have I said it was exciting, yet, lol).

The excitement escalated when I told her that with the tooth fairy money, she now had enough to get a Build-A-Bear!!!!!

After church on Sunday, we headed to Build-A-Bear. It was so fun to watch Lily. Alex got excited once he saw how excited Lily was and Nathanael, well he napped :).

This is Lily and "Diamond", the unicorn.

Alex and "Tiger", the tiger..
And Nathanael and "Squirt", the puppy..

Clearly, he loves his puppy, lol!

Slacker!!!

2009-07-11T13:29:00.009-05:00

Who me? Yes you!! That's who!

Have I mentioned that the kids spent the week at Crocodile Dock VBS at Grace Church? Nope! Know why?

I because I am a slacker!

Did I show you these pics of the kids from the week?

Nope. If I had, I would've told you that they are looking like a croc is about to get them.

But I didn't.

Because I am a slacker.

And what about Lily and her BFF?

Nope. If I had, I would've told you that they spent the entire week attached at the hip, like they used to, before their mother's had a fight and haven't talked in nearly two years. Thank goodness children can be mature!

But I didn't.

Because I am a slacker!

Did I tell you that my one and only niece, Caoilainn (Kay-lin), turned the big 2??

Nope. If I had, I would've told you that she is a sweetheart, lives very far away, and probably doesn't know that she has an aunt that hearts her so much.

But I didn't.

Because I am a slacker.

Did I tell you that my baby boy is now starting to sleep through the night?

Nope. If I had, I would've told you that I am letting him sleep in my bed, on his belly, with a blanket and that if "the professionals" found out they would probably flip out!

I also would've told you that I am still not getting any sleep because I am constantly checking on him because of him crazy sleeping arrangements.

But I didn't.

Because I am a slacker.

Did I tell you that reading my fellow rascal raising's blog made me feel all warm and fuzzy towards my husband? (thanks Amb!).

Nope. If I had, I would've told you that this is a picture from the first time we met. That we were madly in love with each other almost right away. And that I am itching to get us back to that honeymoon stage, one day soon.

But I didn't.

Because I am a slacker!

There's lot more slacking off to be posted but for now it must be put on hold.... Thanks for being patient with me out there in blogworld. Love you all!

Checkup # .....ummm.....??

2009-07-03T23:09:00.004-05:00

Nathanael had his seventeenhundreth appt. on Wednesday. He is a big 10.7 lbs :). The doc upped his pepcid and gave me some suggestions for his bad pooper. Interesting, I know! We talked about his baby smurf belly button. He has a hernia, which should go away within a year, or so. Nothing to get excited about! After a quick once-over he deemed him healthy, once again :). See ya in another month *sigh*.

Playdate with the Prusinowski kiddos

2009-07-03T20:20:00.011-05:00

We had a surprise playdate yesterday. An old church friend, Heather, had some last min VBS things to do so her kiddos came to play with my kiddos. Our kids have been friends since birth. We used to all attend the same church. I love their family :).

Last August I took a couple group photos of the kids....

And a couple on their latest visit.....

What a riot!!

A Day of Exciting, Yet Unrelated Events

2009-06-30T20:36:00.003-05:00

Nathanael smiled for the first time. A great big, toothless grin. Sweet, sweet boy.

Lily has her first loose tooth. Bottom, middle, just a wiggling away.

Playdate with Mary, Tobi and Abi. Yippee, adult conversation (and really good convo, at that!).

Super yummy bean dip with chips (courtesy of Mary).

Received first proof that medicals bills are being paid. Woot! Woot!

Found some new and old friends on FB. (wow, my life is sad, lol).

All children asleep and heading to bed before 8pm.

Over and out...........

Our Medically Eventful Day

2009-06-28T20:44:00.003-05:00

Today started like any other Sunday....church, lunch, play at Pop's house. I was inside the house when I looked up to see Todd running towards the house, with Alex in his arms, wiping his face. Right away, I knew, this couldn't be good.

Apparently a game of "you can't get me" turned into, "watch how hard I can run into the camper without looking". Yep, that's right. Alex ran smack, right into the camper, so hard it knocked him off his feet. He fell backwards and hit his head on the concrete.

Looking like a scene from Carrie, the two enter Pop's house. Now, having some medical knowledge helped me remain calm, since I knew that head wounds, even the smallest ones bleed like a bugger. I had a look and determined that it was going to be a trip to urgent care for the big man.

For the next hour there was a lot of crying....all the way to the hospital, during the examination, while having his blood pressure and temperature taken. Once they numbed the "gash" with some fancy, long-named medication all was well. He even managed to carry on a conversation with the doctor.

The doc put in two stitches, shaky hands and all. Alex was a really big boy and just sat there while she did so. He thanked the doctor and told everyone goodbye.

After every traumatic event follows the ~~relieve my guilt~~ token Walmart trip. The event has to be pretty traumatic to allow for an "anything you want" toy. This was such an event. He chose a Disney Cars Mac truck with three race cars, a hot wheels car and a pack of motorcycle stickers.

Once back at Pop's, all was forgotten. Alex was soon jumping and running around like usual. Kids!!! He is settled into bed now, with a little tylenol, just incase. He has only come out of his room once to say it hurts (which really mean, I don't want to go to bed because he hasn't complained all day).

I think Alex's incident may have been a test to see how prepared I was for what was about to happen at dinner. While dining at the local Steak 'N' Shake, a woman runs in and yells "does anyone know CPR? There is a woman out here who is not breathing". I was like, you gotta be kidding me. I look around and realize, it's me...the one and only, who knows CPR. Out I venture.... Now, thankfully the woman was breathing and had a good strong, regular pulse...but she would OUT COLD!!! Apparently she had tripped, fell flat on her face and was not responding. I stayed until the cops and paramedics arrived. The woman gained consciousness, called for her family but never opened her eyes. Her teeth were all smashed in and her lips were cut. Quickly, they wisked her away via ambulance.

Sigh. What a day. A day to count my blessings.

At 2am

2009-06-28T02:29:00.011-05:00

everyone but moi is asleep

the A/C is still running constantly

pretzels taste really good

there is nothing on TV worth watching

there is a moth flying around the kitchen light

the hours of storm warnings have gotten old

~~Todd~~ someone is snoring

there are too many lights on

my cat is wondering why I am still up

and so am I

Baby Meets Baby

2009-06-27T23:17:00.020-05:00

While in hospital, I met Lisa, Ryan, Sophia and Ethan. They are members at FBCA, Lisa and Ryan are in our Sunday school class. While chatting we realized that we had a few things in common. From those commonalities a friendship has grown.

Yesterday we had our first playdate/meet and greet. The kids and I ventured out to Lonedell to play and meet the new baby, Josiah, born 6/13. Lisa and I have spent a great deal of time lately talking about our interesting third pregnancies. Each story is unique, yet equally full of challenges and surprises.

As we drove up the gravel driveway to their home I was struck with a peaceful feeling. The house is a little ways from the road, just enough that you have to be intentionally looking for it. It is surrounded by many God-made and people-made gardens. The first to greet us were the cats, lazing in the heat.

Within mins of the kiddos meeting, they were splashing in the pool. It was soooo hot out!

After the pool, they all headed inside and investigated each and every toy!

I was looking forward to getting my hands on the new baby. He was sound asleep when we got there. And since you don't wake a sleeping baby, we left well enough alone. I had to sneak a peak though. There he was, all sweet looking, sleeping on Lisa's bed.

And then he woke....

Ok, well he woke long enough to eat, then went back to sleep :).

I thought from the photos I had seen online that the babies would look a lot alike. I don't think I realized how much Nathanael had grown until we lied the babies beside each other.

Lily grabbed the camera and took this picture of Sophia. It is so cute, I had to post it.

Lily and Ethan tested the rocking horse....

Thankfully, it held them!

It was a great day. I think everyone had a good time. I thoroughly enjoyed the adult conversation. Lily and Alex played hard. It was a quiet ride home....

I am thankful for Lisa. Thankful to have a friend that truly understands what my life is like right now. Thankful that God put us together at a time when we needed each other! Thankful that in her crazy life she had time to have us over for a day of fun.

~Kelly

8 years!

2009-06-26T22:31:00.001-05:00

Worth celebrating!!!

~Kelly

Busy These Days

2009-06-25T00:32:00.012-05:00

I miss blogging in the evening but life is busy these days. Not to mention that the choice between spending quality time with the babe or on the computer is not a difficult decision.

Last night Nathanael was wide awake for quite some time. He is trying really hard to roll from his belly to his back. He teeters on his side then fall back onto his belly. It'll be nice when he accomplishes that task because he loves to sleep on his stomach (but I won't let him). I snapped a few photos of him just gazing around the room. I have always wondered what little babies are thinking, as they look around.

He just has such a sweet face.....

And why is this sideways??? Because it won't upload any other way!!!

Today started off in a fabulous way! Todd said I looked very tired so he got up with Nathanael when he woke in the morning and took all three kids to the office. He woke me up at 1:00 PM (yes PM). Ahhhh, what a feeling! There is nothing like sleep in a quiet house to start your day off right.

I got up, grabbed a diet coke (ok, yuck, I know, but I don't like coffee) and was ready to take on the day. It's been so hot, we have been stuck indoors for days now. I don't mind the heat but little man sure does. Just a few mins and he's puffing away. We have been doing a lot of crafts to pass the time. Today we made crowns. Lily, my princess, made a princess crown. Very fitting!

It has so much glitter glue on it I couldn't believe it stayed on her head. Now Alex, on the other hand, just wanted to squirt glue everywhere so, I gave him a piece of paper and said "squirt away"! I've never been fussy about kid crafty messes. As long as it will wash off I am all for it! We finished up with some pipe cleaner firecrackers that I recently saw in a magazine. Parents, I think?

We snacked, watched a movie, made cheesecake (yummy) and waited for Todd to get home. After dinner, Lily, Alex and I headed out to play in the blowup frog pool. If I didn't think the neighbours would stare I would've gotten into it, lol.

After the big kids were settled for the night I headed out to Walmart to grab a few things. When I came home to make a drop off (car full), before groceries, I found two unhappy boys. Todd and Nathanael. I guess it's that time again.... Fussing occurs about every 48 hours, pre-poop! So, I took him with me to the grocery store, hoping the car ride would knock him out. No such luck. He wanted to eat, didn't want to eat, wanted to be held, but couldn't stop moving. Poor pumpkin. So, I spent the majority of the trip holding and soothing him. Some wonderful woman saw me trying to unload my cart onto the conveyor belt with baby in arms and just started grabbing things and putting them up there for me. God bless her!
Nathanael is now asleep, I think :). Todd finished feeding him and took him upstairs. I put away the groceries, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher and am now waiting for the laundry to stop spinning so I can go to bed.

It's been a busy day, as usual but I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

~Kelly

You Know You're Tired When....

2009-06-22T22:21:00.004-05:00

I went up to Alex's room to get him for dinner. This is how I found him :).

Kelly

Hallelujah!

2009-06-22T16:42:00.001-05:00

Just spoke with my insurance company, they now have all the info they need to process the claims. In fact, some checks have already gone out!!!! What an awesome weight off of my shoulders :0. Thank you God!

Kelly

Just Me and the Little Man

2009-06-19T18:15:00.004-05:00

Happy B-day Jana! Tonight they are having a huge surprise party for her 40th. Todd, Pop and the kids headed out a couple hours ago. Nathanael and I chose to stay home and snuggle instead. I figure a large amount of people equals a large amount of germs.
So, we have a movie, pizza and a whole lot of quality time planned. We spent the last hour playing on the couch and the playmat. It's great to have him all to myself with no distractions. It's strange being here without Lily and Alex and I will be glad to have them home but for the time being, the quiet is nice.
Nathanael tried really hard to roll over this evening. I saw him go over once but I think I had his arm tucked under him so it doesn't count. He is such a cutie :). I am still waiting for that first smile. I just know my heart is going to melt.
Since I am being stared at by a sweet little boy in a swing, I better go....

Kelly

The Things Kids Say

2009-06-17T13:25:00.004-05:00

Emma, 5 years: Kelly, what's it like in jail?
Me: I don't know. Have you ever been?
Emma: Nope.
Me: Me either. Why do you ask?
Emma: I don't know.

My initial thought was that she saw my tattoos and associated me with jail (which is scary). Her mom felt that Emma must have overheard them talking about my prison ministry. I still think I looked like a jailbird to her!

Kelly

I Do!

2009-06-15T22:54:00.005-05:00

Lily and Alex were in a wedding this past weekend. I must say, they were absolutely adorable. I was so proud of them, as they walked down the isle, with huge smiles across their faces:). Best wishes to Melinda and David!

And congrats to Lisa and Ryan that delivered a healthy baby boy on June 13th :)!!!

Kelly

One of Those Days

2009-06-11T07:23:00.003-05:00

*Nathanael cried for 2 hours before leaving the house
*garage door still broken
*durango wouldn't start
*left house without wallet
*Nathanael cried every time the car stopped
*mistakenly scraped polish off of professionally painted nails
*credit card declined (someone forgot to pay the bill)
*prescription not ready because insurance denied the claim
*Nathanael still crying

Kelly

Happy Birthday (to me....hehehe)

2009-06-07T22:06:00.004-05:00

Today I turn 37. Thankfully it is not a significant birthday. I don't think I could handle 40 this year. I can't believe that in 3 years I will be 40. I remember when I was a teenager that I thought 40 was SO old!!! I think I already fall into the "old" category to some people. Last night, one of the neighborhood teenagers was having a party (parents nowhere to be see). Todd sighed and stated that he is officially a crotchedy old man as he wanted to call the cops and tell them that there was underage drinking going on down the road, lol.
I don't feel any older than I did a year ago, regardless of the fact that my body just produced another baby. I hope to feel young and energetic for many years to come. I think having young children helps me feel young. I mean, how old can you feel playing with dolls and cars everyday :).
On another note.....Nathanael had a checkup at the cardiologist a couple of days ago. The doc listened to his chest for a loooooong time. He said, he would assume that the top hole (the PFO), has closed and that the lower hole (the VSD) was very slight. Then the conversation went something like this... Me: how long does he have to stay on the medication. Dr: every time I take them off the digoxin before 6 months I regret it. Me: ok, so he'll stay on it then.
It is just me or was that an odd thing for a dr to say??? So, at least 4 more months of the dig, then reassess. They will do an echo at the next appt (October). He gained a few more ounces weighing in at 7.14 :). He is starting to fill out. His face is getting a little chubby. LOVE IT!
After much (not needed) food and cake...I am content and sleepy. One of my favorite gifts was a picture from a friend. She is pregnant, about as pregnant as you can get, and she drew on her belly "Happy Birthday Kelly" She emailed me a picture of her and her daughter with the message displayed for the world to see!!!! How great is that???

Signing out...
Kelly

A Day With the Boys.

2009-06-04T23:41:00.002-05:00

Lily is out of town. She was invited to great-grandma's house. She left with Pop this morning and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. I miss her already but I hope she is having a good time!
I decided since I was down a kid that I would venture out. I took Alex and Nathanael to the Transportation Museum. It was a perfect day for an outdoor adventure. Nathanael took his first train ride and loved it! It put him right to sleep, lol. Alex, I think, thrived mostly, on all the attention. It was nice to spoil him a little bit :). The day flew by.
Tonight I went to visit the new twins!! Geneva's daughter, Kim, delivered on Tuesday. The boys weighed 3.1 and 4.8. The looked very healthy tonight. They are breathing on their own and eating well. Mom is doing "ok", although she looked uncomfortable (to be expected). I am so happy for Kim and Mark!
Off to take care of my wee one....

Kelly

Bad Belly :(

2009-05-31T22:38:00.003-05:00

Little man had a bad belly day. He started fussing at lunch. He would be resting and suddenly start screaming and drawing his legs up. It got progressively worse over the next hour until his monitor was going off over and over for an elevated heart rate. He had a fever, which was probably from him screaming so loudly. After three hours of screaming I called the dr. He suggested Maalox. I questioned Mylicon gtts and he said sure! So, I gave him both and he had almost immediate results. Once he got comfortable he slept for almost 7 hours! Poor bub. He exhausted himself. The dr. said that this type of behaviour is not uncommon in babies that have reflux. He is already on pepcid. I had flashbacks of Lily as a baby. She cried all the time. I remember calling Todd at work, crying, because I couldn't get her to stop crying. At least I know what to expect this time. I feel much more equipped to deal with a colicky baby than I did with my first one. Maybe this was just an off day. I can always hope :).
The twins I have been praying for are still where they are supposed to be:). They are doing well. Mom is miserable but hoping to make it a bit further. Miles, is holding his own...home soon, I think? Lisa, still pregnant and completely uncomfortable. It's time for her but only God knows when!
I am so tired. Late night, little sleep. Hope for a little more tonight!

Kelly

All Grown Up

2009-05-31T01:28:00.006-05:00

We were all at the mall, grabbing a bite to eat and shopping for a suit for Todd. Somehow, we ventured into a jewelry store and a conversation about earrings commenced. The next thing I know, Lily is saying she wants to get her ears pierced. We have had the conversation before but she has always had little interest in the pain associated with it. We watched an episode of Jon and Kate, where Maddie gets her ears pierced and that pretty much cured Lily of any thoughts of getting hers done. But....the time was now, as she proudly announced that she wanted to get her ears pierced. We headed to Claire's. We let Lily pick the earrings out on her own. She chose a very cute pair, pink and white stones in the shape of a daisy.
Then the prep started. I warned her that it would hurt, not for long, but to expect some pain. I still remember the pain and it was not pleasant. I requested that they do both ears at the same time. Todd was not sold on the idea so he stood outside the store while they got Lily ready. Lily has such a great smile on her face, excited in anticipation. Then "click", they pierced her ears. As you can see from the picture, she suddenly looked shocked, fearful, betrayed, all at once. She started to tear up and her lip quivered. We consoled her and focused on her new earrings and in no time she forgot the trauma, lol.
I thought it went pretty well. No tears, Todd didn't lose it, lol. Can't ask for much more than that :).
Late, late....good night!

Kelly

Another Checkup

2009-05-28T21:36:00.005-05:00

Nathanael had a checkup with his pediatrician today. I was thinking this appt was going to be a little redundant but Nathanael has a slight cough so I was able to get it checked out. He has grown another lb since his last appt, which was only 9 days ago, woohoo!!! He is now weighing in at 7.10. He grew just a smidge in length. The cough, which never occurred at the appt, as usual, didn't seem to alarm the doc.
He got 3 immunizations at the appt, one oral, two IM (needles). Poor bub. He actually did really well. He barely cried. Now, the heel stick for bloodwork was another story. He screamed! And then he slept and slept and slept. He slept right through his feeding, by about 2 hours. He roused, ate, then went back to sleep, for another 6 1/2 hours. He wakes momentarily to let out a loud whimper then goes back to sleep. I feel so bad for him. I have never heard these sounds come out of him before. I just gave him some tylenol for a low grade fever. I think it's going to be a long night for him.
What a rotten way to spend his birthday. He is 2 months old today. Since he has been sleeping most of the day the only pictures I could choose from of him sleeping in various places, lol. He is just so darn cute!

Kelly

Not Quite As Planned

2009-05-27T22:45:00.005-05:00

My plan was to get up early, get some errands ran and clean up the house. I got up late (although rested), and realized that I hadn't heard back from the pharmacy about Nathanael's heart med refill. I called from pharmacy to cardiologist several times before it got sorted out. Once the meds were sorted out we attempted to run some errands. The kids were restless before we left. That's never a good sign, lol. We grabbed a bite to eat, made a couple potty trips and headed to shop for Todd's b-day present. We struggled our way through the first store. Next, we headed to get b-day cards. Things went from bad to worse as Lily pulled card after card off the shelf and Nathanael started to cry. So, I abandoned the idea that I was going to get anything accomplished, threw everyone in the car and headed home.
The plan to hit Walmart and the grocery store on the way home crossed my mind but since Nathanael continued to cry and Alex fell asleep, I thought otherwise. I got three sleepy kids into the house where the chaos continued. Todd came home to three cranky kids, a burned out wife and no dinner. Thankfully he had a good day at his client site and took it all in stride.
I managed to get a few things done tonight. The house...well, let's say, I won't be having guests over anytime soon, LOL. All in all, the day was a little nutty but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sidebar-I got a new converter for my memory card so I can now upload pics to my laptop :). I hope to post a daily pic. This one is of Lily, reading "Understanding Wallstreet", and talking on the phone, LOL. She is totally her father's daughter! Btw, the phone isn't even plugged in :). She's so darn cute!!

Gotta get some shut eye ;->
-Kelly

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-26T21:13:00.005-05:00

We ventured out, very early (yawn), Saturday morning. Our destination, Poplar Bluff. On the way down, we detoured to Piedmont, to Geneva's family reunion. The kids played in the creek, peddled bikes, ate snow cones. They had a fabulous time. The adults ate lots of great food, played a bean bag toss game (Todd's team were the champs!) and sat around and enjoyed the company and great weather.
At the end of the day we heading to Grandma Scott's. Last year we celebrated Memorial Day weekend in Poplar Bluff, enjoyed ourselves and decided to do it again this year. Each year, Todd's grandmother, visits all the local cemetaries, placing flowers on all the graves of loved ones. We had the privilege to join her again. It's like a two hour family history lesson. We listen as she tells us how this person was related to that person and often, how each one passed on. There are many gravestones dated in the 1800's. It's very enlightning.
We stopped to visit Todd's grandfather, who was a veteran, and Todd's mom. I cried as Todd introduced Nathanael to Barb, while standing over her gravestone. I can't imagine how Todd's heart aches as he has had to introduce all three of our children this way. On the way home from the visiting we stopped at a house that used to be owned by Todd's other grandmother. Todd knocked on the door and asked the new owners if he could show his family "the rock" in the front yard. Todd spend many hours playing on this rock and was determined that his kids would get to as well. I got a great pic of Todd and the three kids on the rock. It's definitely gonna go on the wall somewhere!
It rained Sunday and Monday but Lily and Alex made the best of it. They enjoyed being at Grandma's. I think it was nice for them to go somewhere new and exciting for a change. Life has been a little dull around the house for them lately. The were a little bummed out that they didn't get to use their new frog pool that we purchased especially for the weekend.
At the end of the weekend we were all tired, well fed and full of great memories. I am so glad that we take the time to remember those that are gone. We really should do it more often. It's important to us that our kids know where we came from and who we have to thank for it.
Today was back to reality! I enjoy being away but am always happy to be home. There's nothing like my own bed to make me smile. Even if there's a little babe calling me from it through the night :). Here's to a good night sleep!!!
New prayer requests (in addition to old posts):
Julie: woman type stuff, probably too personal for me to post on my blog

Kelly

Recovery

2009-05-26T16:03:00.004-05:00

As I drove over to a friend's house the other night I couldn't help but notice all the people out exercising. I watched a very fit guy biking his heart out, keeping up with the flow of cars. I then passed someone jogging down the road. I was taken back to the time when I was in shape. There was a time when I could leg press more than 200 lbs and ran at least 5 days a week. I used to have a personal trainer and took being in shape seriously.
I asked Todd the other day if he thought I could get my body back. Poor guy! He said yes, and I think he meant it. I am not a vain person. Being in shape is so much more than just a physical appearance thing. When I am working out and eating healthy I feel like a completely different person. I love the energy. My mind is more clear. Life seems better.
My recovery, as my doctor warned, is going slow. The worse part.....I didn't believe him. It's like I have hit a stand still. I am excited to get moving! I was invited to join a softball team and originally said that I would love to. I just can't do it. Even the slightest use of my abdominals makes me quite sore the next day. I will admit that it is discouraging but I know it will get better. It's just not on my time schedule, lol.
I trust God to see this journey through to the end. I hope I can remain trusting and PATIENT. I hope to slowly work my way back into some sort of exercise regime. My diet has gone, ummm, a little astray, lol. Food and I are good friends. We've spent a lot of time together over the years, lol.
Well, I'm gonna finish eating my snack, lol (just kidding) and get ready for bed.

Kelly

2009-05-21T03:36:00.003-05:00

Today was the last MOPS meeting for the school year. They planned a day of testimonies and called it tea and testimony. I called it tears and testimony. We first hear from a woman who has dealt with some very personal, emotional issues over the past several months. She shed several tears as she talked about how the women of MOPS have helped her and cared for her throughout her journey.
I had, in the back of my head, that I needed to stand up and thank everyone as well. I had written my thought down in a card a couple of weeks ago, just incase I couldn't get up and talk in front of the group. Mostly, I was afraid of breaking down in front of all those women. But, with that being said, when I got there and found out the we were having a day of testimonies and sharing, I knew that God had set the stage. I was able to get up and thank everyone for all the love, support and especially their prayers throughout the entire pregnancy and post-partum. It's amazing how God works. I have a couple of very supportive friends that live miles and miles away that I know I can rely on at all times but none close by. When I was invited to MOPS, I had no idea what God had in store for me. I will be forever grateful to Him for having MOPS be a part of His plan. I am not sure I conveyed just much I appreciated everything the MOPS have done for me. If fact, with the nervousness and tears, I am not sure I made any sense, lol. Words never sum up such emotions anyway, do they?
I look forward to meeting up with many of the moms throughout the summer. They are asking for volunteers for next years MOPS team. I am considering it. Since there are small as well as big jobs, I think I could start small this year. I will have to pray and see where God leads me.
I am so thankful for God's love. It was so evident today in our meeting room. I don't think that there was a person there that hasn't been personally touching by Him. So many of the moms have been witnesses to me throughout my journey. What a blessing MOPS has been to me.
As I type, I hold a sick? baby. After his checkup yesterday, Nathanael was very sleepy. He had difficulty taking his bottles last night and has been sleeping a lot. The neonatologist told me to up his amount of formula so I equated the sleepiness to being tired out from the appt and the increase in food. But today he has been very sleepy and not eating well. He has had to be woken up to eat and has only been taking half of his normal amount of formula. Tonight he woke up, very hungry. Todd fed him close to 2 oz. He started gagging and brought up, maybe a 1/3 of it. He has had two watery stools. As far as I can tell he does not have a fever. Todd woke me at 2:40 am and said that he had taken 1 oz and was back to sleep. I tried to feed him a bit more. He ate very slow. He spit up for an hour afterwards. Everytime I lie him down he spits up. I tried putting him in his car seat but he didn't like that at all. So, I have been holding him on my chest for an hour. He is peacefully sleeping at the moment. I guess it will be a sleepless night for me. Sleep is overated anyway, isn't it?
Todd has to go to a client site tomorrow. Lily has her class end-of-year picnic. I was planning to take Nathanael to the park for the picnic. Maybe one day they will invent something that allows moms to split themselves in two :). Until then, one day at a time :).
Prayer requests:
*8 month old, Miles, who feel off the bed, bleeding in the brain. At Children's hospital.
*Kim, pregnant with twins. 32 weeks along, body wanting to deliver.
*Jennifer, pregnant with twins. Faced with a possible complicated pregnancy due to clotting factors.
*the MOPS moms and families. Protection and to feel God's love :).
*Lisa, pregnant, gestational diabetes. Safe delivery and healthy baby.
I could write pages of requests. I am just going to write the newest, most urgent, daily requests. Well, I should try to lie the babe down again so I can catch a few winks.

;) Kelly

Checkup

2009-05-19T17:15:00.004-05:00

Nathanael had his first nursery followup at Cardinal Glennon today. The neonatologist, Dr. Walentik, checked his weight, length, head circumference, ears, gag reflex, muscle tone, etc... She was very pleased with his progress. She said if he didn't know his history she wouldn't know he is a preemie. That made me feel great!!! He weighs 6.10, almost a pound more than at discharge. According to his growth chart he is progressing as hoped. She was pleased with his growth and muscle tone. Nathanael is able to hold his head up and hold his extremities out when held in the air, showing good muscle tone. She said he is doing more than to be expected in regards to muscle tone. He had a head u/s but I do not have the results yet. He had electrolytes drawn to see if they can take him off of the sodium chloride.
She talked to me about sleeping and eating habits. She also told me what to expect in regards to followup appts. They will want to see him at 6 months (CGA-corrected gestational age), 15 months (CGA), and at 24 months. He will see a physiotherapist at his next appt. At age 2 he will have a developmental and cognitive screening to ensure he is up to par. The neonatologist isn't worried that Nathanael will have any problems but she said you can't tell for sure at this age how they will develop.
He will have to have heart monitor until about 43 weeks, which is mid to end of June. I was surprised to hear that he will have it for that long but I will comply with whatever they suggest. He has a cardiologist appt June 5th. They adjusted the monitor today because his heartrate has dropped due to being older and closer to term.
We talked about immunizations and routine checkups. It sounds like Nathanael will be very closely monitored for quite some time. I feel good knowing that should he fall behind on anything that it will likely be picked up asap.So, all is well. I wasn't concerned that they would find something wrong but what do I know, lol.
I stopped at Todd's office on the way home and picked up the other two munchkins. They had a good day at daddy's office. They haven't been there in a while. It is quite warm out today. I hope to get out with all three kiddos after dinner when it cools a bit. That's if I don't fall asleep before the kids, lol.
Good report, good day....

Kelly

Deja Vu?

2009-05-18T23:13:00.004-05:00

Geneva (Grandpa's girlfriend) calls today and says that her daughter, who is 32 weeks along with twin boys has been put on bedrest at home. She then says "it's like deja vu". Is what happened to me and what is happening to her that close? She is 75% effaced and her doc feels like she could deliver anytime. They want to get her to 36 weeks.
I hope over time that I will forget about the whole pregnancy/hospitalization thing. You would think, now that it's all over, that I would be able to move on and forget what happened. But I can't. I don't dwell on it but it's very hard to think about. I hate feeling weak. I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate feeling fearful. I just want to forget about it. Sometimes just seeing a pregnant woman makes my stomach hurt. There's a bit of jealous as well.
Kinda hard to move on with the daily phone calls from providers asking for payment. My insurance company is "looking into it". Wonderful! It's gonna be hanging over our heads for months that the claim may be denied. You gotta love the EOBs that explain the $50k and the $91k bills. Woowee! I think this will be costing someone several hundred thousand. Hopefully it's not us!!!
It's strange to know that I don't have a choice as to whether I want more kids or not. It's like a right, the right to bare children, as many as I want, has been taken away. I know it's a crazy thought, since we have 3 children under 5, and well, I am older than the dr's like pregnant women to be....but...I always thought it would be my decision.
I have so, so many bins of baby clothes. It's sad thinking that they are sitting there, waiting to be put on some cutie baby. I need to have a huge garage sale and get rid of it all. Just get rid of it.
When I went to my 6 week checkup, my specialist told me that although I have no uterus, and will have no monthly cycle, that I will get all the symptoms that go with the monthly visitor. I will still get moody and cranky. And I won't even know when it's coming, lol. Well, thanks for that!! I have a feeling part of the reason this blog is such a downer has to do with hormones. At least, I sure hope so, LOL!
So, now that I have whined and complained... I'm gonna hold my sleeping baby and think of sweet things :).

Kelly

Yeah!!! Potty Trained?

2009-05-17T22:20:00.002-05:00

So, three days ago I decided, no more diapers for Alex. We have been putting a diaper on at night only. The first day was, well, bad, with lots of accidents and he kept asking for his diaper. Day two, much better. And today, great success. He stayed dry all day and told me when he had to go...right up until bedtime, when he pooped and peed in his pull-up. I am very excited about his progress. He seems pretty pumped about it too :). Todd bought him a target to shoot at with his bow for trying so hard.
Nathanael is doing well. He is eating about 2 oz every 3 hours. He has a checkup on Tues. I am very excited to see how much weight he has gained. He is finally growing out of his preemie clothes. He is starting to have longer awake periods. His monitor has only gone off twice this past week. It appears as if he everything is moving right along, in the right direction.
The kids still love Nathanael and think he is pretty cool. Lily is especially smitten with him. She kisses him all the time. She wants to hold him and help with his bottles whenever she gets the chance. Alex is following Lily's lead. He kisses him too but is less interested in helping. He tries to help by thrusting the pacifier in his mouth, lol. I have to watch him closely.
The nights are getting longer and Todd and I are starting to get tired. I know that I have greatly increased my caffeine intake, lol. Todd, well, he naps on the couch, when he gets the chance. He is going back to the office tomorrow. I am having some anxiety over being home by myself. I am hoping after a couple of days alone I will feel better about things.
Today, after church, Todd had to do a demo for a new client. We all drove to St. Charles. The plan was to drop Todd off, kill time with the kids, then pick Todd back up. There was a Dairy Queen right across the road from where Todd was doing his demo. I got all three kids in, hit the bathroom first and headed to order food when I realized that I didn't bring my wallet. Interesting! Todd's meeting wasn't scheduled to start for 15 mins so I quickly called him. He walked across the road, paid for our food, and headed back. Lily and Alex sat and ate, while I fed Nathanael. I let everyone sit and take their time eating because I didn't have a wallet, therefore, no drivers license, therefore we would be stuck in the parking lot until Todd was done, lol! Once the kids got bored, we headed to the car. It seemed like no time before Todd returned. The moral of this story (well, besides, always take your wallet, lol) is that if I can take all three out by myself, I should be able to handle them at home :).
I am going to sign out as I have a rotten baby, spoiled rotten that is, that wants to be held :).

Kelly

A Stormy Day

2009-05-13T16:36:00.002-05:00

According to the weather man, it was supposed to rain all week. Mon and Tues were beautiful, warm and windy. So...I washed the durango, and voila, it is now raining, lol. The storms started last night. I love thunderstorms. Although I don't panic when I hear the word tornado anymore, I can do without the warnings.
When it storms I worry about the power because Nathanael's monitor battery only lasts about 12 hours, fully charged. I have grown to rely on the monitor to let me know if anything is wrong. It's a comfortable feeling to know that we will be alerted if anything changes with his respirations or heartrate.
Today has been an indoor lazy day for the kids because of the weather. I caught up on some much needed cleaning, such as scraping the paint off the floor from the new kitchen cabinet remodelling. I feel like the house is finally getting back in order.
Well, it's dinner time. I better get cracking! I am out of here.

Kelly

2009-05-12T22:58:00.002-05:00

Another busy day. Another great day. After I dropped Lily off at preschool I was able to get some errands done and spend some much needed 1:1 with Alex. Todd watched Nathanael while Alex and I went to the park and had a picnic. It was a beautiful day. It was sunny but not too hot. I could have many more days like this!
Tonight I watched the finale of Biggest Loser while contemplating what to eat, lol. I haven't been able to get to the gym and am finding it harder and harder to eat right. I have to keep at it though.
The apnea monitor went kaputs (is that how you spell it??) tonight. The screeching alarm went off and wouldn't stop. The entire unit had to be replaced. Some poor girl had to drive an hour to come and bring us a new one. It was nice not to have wires attached to Nathanael but I found myself watching him very close and wondering if his heart was ok.
Our health insurance is giving us a hard time. They keep telling the providers that they will not cover the claim as they do not cover normal pregnancy claims. Hello!!!! What was normal about it? Now they are researching my history, trying to find a way to deny our claims. They want a physicians signature, stating I wasn't pregnant at the beginning of August, when we got this insurance. I guess this is just the way they work. I am not sure how people would deal with this if the illness was ongoing. I am not concerned, just annoyed. It is in our contract that complications of pregnancy are covered 100%. Can't get anymore clear than that!
Oh well, on that note...I better go to bed before I get too annoyed! Looking forward to tomorrow.

Kelly

A Good Report.

2009-05-11T21:43:00.003-05:00

I had a wonderful day today. I had my 6 weeks post-partum checkup. I got a good report. All is well so I got the go ahead to resume all "normal" activities. Although, I was warned to take it slow and listen to my body. He mentioned that my incision could be "adjusted". I said, "like surgery?". He said "yes" and I said "no way, no how". They will have to drag me kicking and screaming to surgery in the future. I am not vain enough to care about an area that only a few will see. It's not like I will be wearing a bikini, lol. I am happy to have a good final report and be discharged from his care but I was sad to say goodbye to my specialist. I thanked him and his team for the wonderful care throughout this process. And now the new adventure of getting my body back into shape begins!
I spent the rest of the day outside, with the family. We went to Pop's and planted more veggies. Lily and Alex ran around while I shared a blanket with Nathanael. The neighbour came over with Alex's b-day gift and something for Nathanael. Then we all headed to Culvers for some yummy, fried food. I have been so good with my eating that I splurged. I didn't eat dessert but I sure enjoyed the butterburger and onion rings, LOL. Guess I'll have to work that off asap!
I love the sounds at night when the house is silent. I can hear the occasional car drive past our open window. I can hear Todd and the baby breathing, ever so softly. What a great day. Thank you Lord :).

Kelly

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T22:11:00.003-05:00

What a wonderful Mother's Day it is!!! I am so blessed( x3). I woke up to a small voice saying "Happy Mother's Day". Alex was to my right, Lily to my left and Nathanael, in Todd's arm at the end of the bed. They brought me cards and breakfast in bed. It was so sweet. We spent the day together and went to Ponderosa for dinner. I got to shop for a few items on Friday evening for Mother's Day. I love new clothes :). All in all, the day was fabulous!
Everyone here is doing well. Nathanael is such a sweetie. He has been cracking me up. He can be completely asleep one minute and screeching the next. I think he doesn't realize he can be awake and not be eating. It's kinda funny and cute. He has this little tiny voice. He tries so hard to make enough noise to be noticed when it's actually just a funny screech. The only real awake period he is having lasts a couple hours off and on. Unfortunately it's usually between 1am and 3am. Bummer! Lucky for me, Todd has been getting up and feeding him around that time.
Lily and Alex still think Nathanael is pretty cool. I am glad that the novelty of a new brother hasn't worn off yet. Todd and I are trying hard to spend extra time with them, letting them know that most things are the same around the house.
LOL, I am wondering why I went to the gym on Thursday. I was finally pain free. My body has been aching ever since. But, I need to keep at it. I have a dr's appt tomorrow. I am looking forward to the go-ahead to resume all normal activities. I am thinking bootcamp again but that may be too much for me right now. We'll see..... I am determined to get back in shape, cardio wise, etc. I don't care too much about the weight right now. I just want to get my stamina and energy back.
It's been a great day. I am beat and ready for bed. So, I am off....

Kelly

Family Time

2009-05-07T22:30:00.003-05:00

Family time, all the time these days. It's so great!! I have, somehow managed to spread my time around so that no one has been left out. Todd took Lily on a field trip today, leaving some good bonding time for me and the baby. (Alex was at children's day out). I am so grateful for Todd this week. He is working from home, allowing me to keep up with everything.
Nathanael is just now starting to have some awake periods. They only last a few mins and usually lead into hunger, but it's nice to make eye contact. I can tell he knows my voice because he seems to search for me when I speak. He also looks around when the other kids are around. He is starting to hold up his head when I have him on my chest. I can't wait for that first smile. He is going to be grown before I know it. And he isn't even supposed to be born yet!!
I am working hard on myself these days. I have lost 30 lbs :). I am fasting sweets for one month, which has helped a lot. I went to the gym today. First time since....well, I can't remember when...opps :). And I didn't die, lol. The cardio wasn't too bad but the weights...I am a little weak. So, that means, take it sloooow.
It's supposed to thunderstorm tonight. I love night thunderstorms. What an awesome sound. I love the really hard rain. So, here's to a "stormy" sleep...

Kelly

It's So Nice!

2009-05-07T00:05:00.000-05:00

It is soooo nice to have Nathanael home. It is amazing how "normal" life is now. I am physically feeling about 90% and everyone is here, all together! What else can I ask for??
Nathanael is such a sweetie. I love being able to hold me anytime I want to. Last night I sat on the couch after everyone else went to bed and held him for almost 3 hours. I had so many other things to do but I have a lot of catching up to do with Nathanael. His skin is so soft. And I can't get over his blonde hair. He is still sleeping a lot. He wakes up about 10 mins before he needs to eat, makes a mini-fuss, eats and goes back to sleep, LOL! What a life. His only issue is that he seems to have a little belly problem. He often fusses and pulls his knees after eating. Poor bub! Right now he is snoozing next to me in his car seat. He seems to like to sit up a little after he eats. I had laundry to change over and lunches to make so I popped him in his car seat. He looks so cozy. Sleeping like a baby....hehe, I couldn't resist the pun :).
Lily and Alex love him. So far I haven't seen any jealousy. I worried a lot about how Alex would do with some competition but so far, so good. Both kids want to touch him and help out all the time. They race to see who can get his blanket first. It's really cute.
Todd has been working from home this week. It's been a huge help. I can call on him to help with little things throughout the day. And he has been taking "the night shift", he calls it. He has been getting up at 3am and 6am to feed Nathanael. I think Todd and I are finally getting back on track too!
I have been able to catch up on some much needed housework. I got out all my summer clothes from last year and they fit!!! The house looks better than it has in a while. Who would've thought bring home a new baby would be less work than having one at the hospital. It's so nice to have him home.
Well, since I am the only one awake I should be using my free time wisely. Laundry calls...

Kelly

All Under One Roof!

2009-05-04T20:04:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a little busy so I didn't get to update....but...

Nathanael came home!! We headed up to the hospital around 9am. All four of us, for the first time, were symptom free and able to enter the NICU together. Nathanael's nurse ran through some of the regular baby discharge stuff such as this is how you wash a baby, this is how you dress a baby, lol. I think they have to make sure they tell you everything before you leave so you can't come back.
We then had about an hour training with the apnea, heart monitor. It was a little overwhelming and I could feel the anxiety starting. I was trying to feed Nathanael when the verbal part of the training was going on so I wasn't quite engaged in what the trainer was saying. Thankfully, the trainer was very thorough and took his time going over things, several times, with Todd. There is a lot more to the monitor then I originally thought. It's not a complicated thing, just a lot of little things to remember about it. Anyway....
After the monitor training, the nurse told us to go grab some lunch while they drew up the discharge papers. I guess the nurse practitioner was very busy with some sick babies and was a little behind on the paperwork. So, we grabbed a snack. It gave Todd and I some time to talk about the monitor and take a moment to breathe :).
Soon, we were all ready to go. We popped Nathanael into the wagon. Todd pulled and the kids pushed. I followed closely behind, thanking God for this day. I hope I don't have to see the inside of a hospital for a very long time. We made one quick pit stop then headed home.
So far we have only had one alarm with the monitor that concerned us. While sleeping, the heart rate monitor went off, indicating that his heart rate was less than 80. Indeed, he was not breathing when Todd walked over to him. With a little stimulation he resumed breathing and the alarmed silenced on it's own. His dr reassured us that these A and B (apnic and bradycardia) episodes with probably resolve themselves in about two weeks. He is doing well with his feedings. He is waking about every three hours, wanting to eat. He is taking 50ish ccs at a time. I think he had a belly ache last night. He had a hard time settling after his late night feeding and groaned for a while. He is on pepcid for reflux. I remember Lily...oh, she has such bad belly aches. She cried a lot! I'm hoping he is just adjusting to the formula and environment change.
Today was beautiful. After running some errands with the older two, we headed outside. Nathanael slept peacefully in the stroller while Lily and Alex played with some of the new b-day toys. Then the four of us went for a walk to the end of the street and back. No one was interested in napping (except me), so we settled for some quiet time instead.
Jessie stopped by for a quick visit. The kids love her! I think they heard her voice and came downstairs. Todd ordered chinese for dinner. After Jessie left, Lily and I headed outside to try out her new bike. After a couple mini-wipeouts, so quit. I think she got scared, poor thing! Alex, eventually joined us. We played in the yard with one of the new neighbours kids.
Lily and Alex went to bed early. Too many late nights with no naps. As I type, all is quiet. Todd is working on the couch and all three kids are asleep :). I am hoping for a quiet night.
Tomorrow Alex has his three year check-up and Nathanael has a follow-up appt. I think the days are going to be busy for a while but at least it's all happening under one roof!!!

Kelly

Mama, mama, I'm coming home.

2009-05-02T15:50:00.003-05:00

I am still pouting but I think I can put things aside long enough to act like a grown up for a little while...
The nurse called today to tell us that Nathanael has been officially discharged home tomorrow!!! The last couple of days he has been taking bottles (only) well. He pulled his NG out last evening and they left it out. What a smart boy! We have to do the monitor training tomorrow and get a few last min well baby instructions but then we can bring him home. Yippee! I am very happy and relieved. I know it's going to be crazy around here now, but at least we are all here as a family together.
And today is Alex's third birthday. I don't think I have seen him this excited before! We took him to Toys R Us last night to pick out a bike. He is loving it. It's so nice to see him so excited!! We celebrated with family and friends at The Incredible Pizza Place. Poor Bub didn't really get a party because we didn't know if Nathanael would be home but thankfully he's only 3 and is easy to please. He is into spiderman this year, so that was the theme.
It's been a really great day with Lily and Alex. Hopefully the transition to family of 4 to 5 is easy on them. I am worried about Alex.
I have a few more things to do before I can go to bed....all baby stuff:). So, I am out of here.

Kelly

It's Over!

2009-04-30T01:00:00.001-05:00

I quit! That's all there is to it. I give up on...everything. And NO, I DON'T want to talk about it!
All three kids are fine and healthy:)

signing out...

Kelly

Mission Accomplished

2009-04-29T00:02:00.002-05:00

So....although I have the flu I had a very productive day. I think the day-time Tylenol Cold medication has something in it that makes me hyper. An hour after ingestion I get a ton of energy. I noticed the same thing yesterday. So, I took advantage of it and started laundry. Since I am too sick to go see my sweet pea, I might as well make the best of it.
After Todd got home I headed out to Babies R Us because apparently we got rid of our change table. I hate to spend money on something that will be used for such a short period of time but I felt like we needed one, so I bought a new change table. I then went to Walmart and used the MOPS gift card (thank you girls!) and bought little canvas baskets to go underneath. I also purchased some other little baby items and of course, a couple very little items for the other kids. Jessie met me at Walmart and helped me pick everything out. She then came back to the house and helped me put the change table together. It took us 1 1/2 hours, LOL! But it is done and all ready for Nathanael. I need to go to Pop's house and get the pack 'n' play and to Verlaine's and get the portacrib. Then we are ready!!! There are a few other items that are at Pop's, like the diaper genie, etc, but they are not essentials. I am so excited for him to come home.
With that being said...he is not doing well with his eating. It doesn't look like he will be home this week afterall. I am disappointed but I know that we can't bring him home like this. So, I patiently wait for God to put it all in place for Nathanael to come home. (btw..happy one month b-day little man!!).
I am going to finish my last load of laundry and off to bed...

Kelly

Flu Bug

2009-04-27T18:32:00.002-05:00

I have the flu. I spent the morning with the kids and the afternoon in bed. As long as I take meds I feel ok. Without meds....hit by a truck! So, the plan is to keep up with the meds and rest. I am not going to see Nathanael while I feel like this, which is disappointing. I am extra disappointed because tomorrow he will be one month old. I will likely not be able to go tomorrow either. Bummer, big bummer!!!
I am going to sign out...

Kelly

Obama in Arnold!

2009-04-26T21:58:00.002-05:00

I just read a story about how Pres. Obama is going to be in Arnold, MO for a town hall meeting for his 100th day in office. I am not a supporter of Obama....well, I am because he is the president but I mean I probably would not have voted for him....but anyway, I think it is so cool that he will be in Arnold! There is a website where you can request tickets to attend

http://tr.im/jLzb

and I filled it out, lol....like I am going to be accepted. They will call if our request is approved.

Kelly

2009-04-26T21:37:00.002-05:00

I really want to write something positive here...I think I said I was going to try to be more positive....but I am starting to think that God is punishing me. I now have whatever cold/flu that is going around. Just as I get the pain of my teeth under control this has to happen. I am miserable and so tired of feeling this way. If I could "throw in the towel" or just quit, I would!!!
Now, on a better note...Nathanael is looking so good. He is still having to be tube fed at some point during the day but he is working hard at taking bottles. I can't ask for anything more. My father-in-law and his girlfriend Geneva agreed to take CPR, which is totally awesome. I will feel much more comfortable if something comes up where, in an emergency or something, I need to leave the baby with them. I can't imagine it will happen but I am glad we are prepared.
Well, I took some cold and flu stuff, am gonna pump and dump and go to bed. I hope Nathanael understands why he will have no milk tomorrow :(. Guilty!!!

K

Fun Day With the Family (minus one).

2009-04-25T16:12:00.002-05:00

I am enjoying spending the day with Todd, Lily and Alex and feeling very guilty about not being at the hospital. I haven't done much with the kids at home all week. We went to Lily's t-ball game this morning, then to the rec center to watch them swim. The water looked so inviting but I am not allowed to bathe for 4 weeks from discharge (which will be this coming Wed). I think I will take the risk (of scaring people with my body) and get in the pool next week :).
We are currently hanging out, having quiet time, as the kids are absolutely exhausted but refuse to nap. We are watching Disney Cars, for about the hundredth time! Shortly the kids and Todd are going to put up a tire swing in the yard. I think I may make the great escape then.
I think I am having withdrawl from the pain meds. I have had headaches and difficulty sleeping at night. I was awake at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep for over an hour. I only took on vicodin yesterday and NONE today! I hope to feel like myself shortly. My teeth are almost healed. The home remedy kit has come in very handy.
I guess I better get back to the family and back to doing something as typing is making me very sleepy!

Kelly

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-24T23:04:00.002-05:00

Sooooooooooo, they have finally said that Nathanael will be going home SOON!!!!! He has to take bottles around the clock for two days and then he can go home!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!! When we got to the hospital today there was a mom with her little guy in a wagon. They were leaving the NICU, going home. As soon as I got to Nathanael's room I started to cry. Todd looked at me. "What?", he said. I said, I want to take my baby home. And now I get to:):):)!
We took an infant CPR class tonight. We also have to take training for the monitor that he is coming home with. I think talking about discharge with the nurse practitioner and the CPR trainer really hit us that Nathanael coming hime is really going to change our lives! They talked about the fact that all preemies are considered as having chronic lung disease. How they do the first year will determine the amount of problems they could have later in life. If they are able to avoid a lot of infections, colds, ear infections, etc. then they will be considered free of lung disease after two years. They told us to be extra cautious about taking him out in public, etc. I am so excited about him coming home but a little scared about him getting sick. I don't want to be a worried freak for the next year, lol!
So, it's been a great day....I am home early and already in bed. My teeth are feeling better, finally! I only took one pain pill all day! I have lost 27 lbs since Mar 28th:). Nathanael is 35 weeks (and coming home, did I mention that?).
Poor Alex is still sick but with no fever. I have a bit of a cough and had to wear a mask at the hospital but I am sure it will be better tomorrow, once I get some sleep.
Tomorrow is going to be busy...t-ball game, swimming, then naps for the kids and off to the hospital for me, so I better get to sleep asap! G'nite!

Kelly

A Quiet Moment

2009-04-24T08:48:00.003-05:00

I just got in from staying at the hospital all night and everyone is still asleep. I know it won't last long but I can hear the birds singing and feel the cool morning breeze coming in the window. There is no TV on! Oh...I think I heard a toilet flush, LOL!
Anyway, it's so hard to catch up when I miss a day. I will attempt to fill in the blanks from yesterday....
Alex is still sick. He still has a fever. I took him to the drs and he said he just has a cold. If the fever jumps back up or doesn't stop to call him back as he may put Alex on antibiotics. Alex has been so sick that he has been putting himself down for a nap. That's very out of character for him. Poor baby. I hate feeling sick and he can only have so much medication.
Nathanael is doing well. He is waking and rooting about every 3 hours. Sometimes he doesn't wake up and they give him the tube feeding. But overall he is doing well with his feedings. He is now at 47cc every three hours"). And I got to breast feed him a couple days ago. It was great. I went up last night at midnight to see him. I feed him his 12 o'clock bottle but then slept through the next two. I was so tired, I just couldn't wake to feed him. Kinda sad. He deserves better than that. So, I am dealing with some guilt about that. And the nurses probably think, what kind of mother am I?
Lily and I went on a field trip to the zoo yesterday. It was so nice to go out somewhere fun, just my little girl and me:). It's been a while. We took our time, just walking around and riding the train. I didn't want to go home but we both got very tired. I am sore today but it is all worth it!!
Todd and I, well, let's just say, things have been better!
While at the dentist office on Wed, the dental assistant told me that she had a hysterectomy with her last child, as she had a placenta previa and an accreta. Good thing the chair had arms, otherwise I might have fallen on the floor. She said, she hemorraged, was in a coma and ICU for 4 days. She almost died. Then she woke and had no idea what had happened or where her baby was. The nurses said that they lied the baby on her everyday but she didn't remember a thing. When I got to the car I started crying. I think now that it is over, I have been thinking a lot more about what the outcome could've been.
I think about dying more now than I ever have. I worry about crashing my car, etc, all the time. I think about how the kids would be if I wasn't here right now and who would be taking care of Nathanael. It makes me cry everytime.
On a good note, lol...I have found a home remedy for the dry socket. I bought a Rec Cross Toothache Kit at Walgreen's, after I read about it online. It has all the same items the dentist uses when I go to see him. So, no more trips to the dentist. The best part (besides the pain relief) is that I will save myself an hour everyday, not having to go to the dentist!!
Well, I can hear people moving around upstairs. I guess I better get a move on here.....

Kelly

Again...same thing!

2009-04-23T23:07:00.003-05:00

I am off to the hospital. Today has been so busy that I haven't had time to go yet. I will probably spend the night instead of driving home exhausted.
Main points from the last few days....
-met another women with an accreta. made me cry when I got to the car.
-Alex, still has a fever, day four. went to drs..probably just a cold???
-found home remedy for dry socket, before this, daily trips to the dentist. thank you GOD!
-rekindled an old friendship
-went on a field trip to the zoo with Lily
-breast fed Nathanael, 5 mins, wiped him right out
-milk supply getting a bit better
-need sleep!!!

Kelly

Too Busy, Too Tired......

2009-04-23T15:06:00.001-05:00

A Busy, Productive Day!

2009-04-21T20:11:00.003-05:00

I had a great day today! I slept in...opps, but I needed it. Lily still made it to school in time so no harm done, lol. After dropping Lily off I headed to BSF. I was so excited to return to my bible study. They also had fellowship afterwards. We sat together and talked about what we have gained and how we have been blessed by BSF. I then went to the dreaded dentist. He changed out the medicated pad and I was off to the hospital.
My visit with Nathanael, was great, as usual! I said hello to the nurse, put my milk in the fridge and turned around to a great surprise :). Nathanael was in a little bassinet, like the kind they put full term babies in! I was so pleased. He looked so small, lol! I got a good report from the nurse about his eating. He is alternating bottles with tube feedings and tolerating it very well. While I was visiting, the lactation consultant stopped by to see how I am doing. I asked her about the "mother's milk tea". She said I could try it if I wanted to...no harm in it, for sure. Then the nurse practitioner came in and started talking about what sorts of things will occur when Nathanael goes home, such as he may go home on a monitor, that he will go home on heart medication, how to take his heart rate and how to distinguish between a normal heart rate and one that is above 200, etc. She wrote an order to start breastfeeding. At the 6pm feeding I was able to put Nathanael to breast and he caught right on, lol. It started to tire him out quickly so we switched to the bottle to ensure he got a good feeding. The plan is to feed him, one full feeding by breast tomorrow. I am excited to finally be able to feed my baby, the right way :).
I had to come home right after his feeding because Todd had to go up to his office. He took care of everything all day, so I really couldn't complain.
Now I am hanging out on the couch with the kids. Alex fell asleep at 6pm but is now up with another fever....or should I say still. Todd gave him motrin at 6pm, just before he fell asleep. I don't know if the fever ever broke. Hopefully the kids will go to bed soon. I am tired and really need to get to bed soon. I have two medications that I need to take every 8 hours. No matter how I work it out, I always have to stay up late, wake up early or set an alarm to make sure I take them on time.
So, a little Kai-lan (one of the kid's favs) then bed for all....

Kelly

Perfect For a Kite

2009-04-20T20:17:00.005-05:00

Well, I am trying to get to bed but this is the perfect time to try and catch up with all the emails, etc. I need to start working on thank you cards but I haven't the faintest idea how to thank the people that made all of this possible. I couldn't have made it this far in this journey without all the prayers and support.
Poor Alex is so sick. He woke with a fever that never really broke. He started throwing up somewhere around lunch, I think? Thankfully he had a blanket on his lap, lol. I convinced Todd that he needs to rest all day tomorrow. I have been trying to return to BSF (bible study fellowship) for a couple of weeks now but that requires someone to pamper my baby while I am unavailable. Todd reassured me that he will take very good care of Alex :).
Nathanael had another good day. With Alex being so sick I didn't get a chance to go to the hospital. Todd had a meeting at 5pm and then the evening flew by. I talked to the nurse a couple times. He is doing well with his feedings and is now in a regular bassinet :). It's only a matter of time before he is home. I am trying not to get excited but he could be home in like 2-3 weeks!!! I guess I better dig out the pack n play, etc...
Lily flew her first kite tonight :). The wind was just perfect. Todd and Lily bought a kite after his meeting and then they spent an hour outside trying to catch the wind. Due to the great wind, once the kite was up, it was UP!! I heard a tap on the door and when I went out I saw Lily holding the kite string. She had a huge smile on her face. She was so proud of herself.
I have had some pain relief since my dentist appt. I am hoping for a good night sleep. And on that note....good night.
Oh....so many prayers needed but a couple that are close to my heart are: 1) Lisa Stough. She is 32 weeks and having complications. She has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and the baby (Josiah) is lying sideways. Please pray!!! 2) Michelle Desroches. A good college friend, trying to get pregnant for wayyyyy toooo looooong! Things are not going well for her right now and she is devastated! Rightfully so! Please pray!!!
Alright....off for another day.....

Kelly

A Fresh Start

2009-04-20T12:31:00.002-05:00

I woke through the night with the most painful mouth ache ever. It hurt all the way up to my ear. It hurt so much I couldn't even cry because that made it hurt worse, lol.
This morning Alex woke with a fever and a cough. I wonder how long before one of my family member is not sick. It started with Alex, moved to Lily, to Todd and back to Alex. At least I haven't gotten it (yet).
I gave Alex some ibuprofen, headed to the dentist to have the medicated pad for the dry socket changed, ate a couple jellos and I am now ready for the day. I noticed the sky looked especially bright on the way to the dentist. There were dark clouds rolling in but they were large and fluffy. It rained for a few seconds on the way to the car but overall, the day is nice. It's windy and a little cool, but fresh feeling.
I am determined to have a good day, with a positive attitude. Lately I have been complaining about everything and I hate feeling like this so, today is going to be a fresh start, emotionally.
Ok, off to enjoy the day.......

Kelly

Alex Meets Nathanael

2009-04-19T22:46:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a blur. Today, the same.... busy busy busy... I can't keep up! I went to the dentist yesterday morning because my lower right tooth was throbbing. I have dry socket!!! Of course I do! Have you met me?? I really don't have the best luck. Anyway, the surgeon stuffed some medicated pad into the socket (ouch), and I have to have it changed every 2 days until it feels better. Like I have time for more errands:). Then I grabbed donuts for the rest of the family and headed home. I got everything ready to go to the hospital but decided to lie down for a min. Well, seven hours later I woke up, LOL! Guess I was a little tired, eh? But I was supposed to be at the hospital to feed Nathanael. And I had to get a shower gift. So, I got my butt up and headed out. I got a shower gift and made it to the hospital by 9pm. I was able to feed Nathanael his midnight bottle :). Worth the drive for sure :). I stay until 2am, then headed home.
I woke this morning with mouth pain. I know it will get better, but I need it to be sooner than later. I am really starting to feel sorry for myself and I don't like that feeling, at all. We went to SCBC for church today as Mary was giving a testimony about MOPS, for MOPS Sunday. She talked about the three things that she has learned/gained from MOPS. I was touched that she included my story in her testimony about the power of prayer. I cried through the entire speech. It was so great to see all the MOPS gang too. I found out that a friend of mine, that has been trying for a very long time, is pregnant!! Yippee!!!
After church Lily and I headed to Grace church for Melinda's wedding shower. Although there has been a bit of tension between us, it all meted away as soon as she saw me. She started crying because I came to the shower. She said with everything going on that she figured I wouldn't be able to come. I told her that I wouldn't miss it, and that was the truth. The shower was fun and Lily had a great time.
We came home, grabbed the guys and headed up to the hospital. Alex FINALLY got to meet his baby brother. I snapped more than a few photos. It was so darling to see Alex's face light up. He even got to hold him (with a little help). It was a great night for both brothers. It's so strange to say brothers, lol. Alex was so fascinated with everything in the room. He especially loved Nathanael's bed, lol. Oh, and Nathanael's bed heater was turned off today and so far he has been able to regulate his temp. One step closer to home!!!
I am waiting for my last round of pain meds to kick in so I can go to bed. My mouth hurts so much!!! I will head to the dentist again in the am to get the medicated pad changed. It really helped the first day so I am looking forward to it!
I am beat. Have to upload some new pics so I am out of here.........

Kelly

Busy, Busy!

2009-04-17T22:19:00.002-05:00

The days seem to get busier and busier. I am way behind on phone calls and emails. I can't figure out how to do everything in a 24 hour period. I managed to split my time up between Lily and Alex and the hospital but the house chores, well....the house is a MESS! Oh well, not a huge priority right now.
Nathanael did well taking his bottle again today at noon. He spit up a small amt after the feeding but overall, digested most. He is such a cutie. He had on a little onsie that said Daddy's Champ. He looked so adorable today. He is now up to 4.12 lbs. He is still so tiny and cute...did I mention that already?? :).
I picked the kids up at Todd's office around 5ish. We grabbed movies and snacks, made a quick stop at Target and Walgreen's, then headed home. We attempted to watch Space Buddies. It was painful. Not a good movie, at all!
My mouth hurts, a lot. I woke through the night with a lot of pain. I spoke with the dentist office staff (they called to check in on me) and they said that it is normal to hurt more the second and third day. I hope this is that worst of it. It's quite painful. I am, once again, out of percocet. My doctor called me in a few vicodin. I just want something on hand, just incase.
I am so tired, I drifted off after that last sentence. I have no idea what else I need to write about but I am out of here.

Sweet dreams,
Kelly

A Big First!

2009-04-16T22:53:00.002-05:00

Nathanael took his first bottle today!!! He is finally catching onto this eating thing:). I knew he would...he is related to me, lol! I was able to sit with him and feed him 42ccs :0. That is so huge, compared to what he has been taking. I just checked in with the nurse and she said he tolerated the bottle well. I was concerned that after I left that he would throw it all up. And they changed him back to bolus feeds and he is tolerating them as well :).
I asked the nurse practitioner about possible discharge dates. She said that most babies go home about 2 weeks from the due date, a few up to a month before their due date. I was hoping that she would say most babies go home earlier but I am trying not to set myself up for disappointment.
The next week is a very important time for Nathanael. How he tolerates the bottle will have a lot to do with his discharge. They are also going to try and get him out of his little temperature controlled isolette. I pray he does well with each. I don't want to rush him home but I am having a harder time not being able to hold me around the clock, etc.
Today the nurse told me that she would be right back....and well, he woke up and he was looking towards me. I know he knew I was there...my smell, my voice....whatever, but he knew I was there. He was crying and I just wanted to pick him up and cradle him in my arms. The nurse was gone, what seemed like forever. Some nurses will let me get him out by myself...she is not one of them. So, I have to stand there watching him cry, knowing that he knows I am right there and not helping him. It's not fair, to him, or me :(. But soon enough, he will be home and then I can hold him as much as I want :).
I am starting my second round of reglan for milk production. It's working, sort of. The lactation consultant thinks it's worth giving it another shot. Nathanael has caught up to my supply and more than likely will have to have formula through the night. Big bummer!
My MOPS group surprised me with two bags of baby gifts. There are several different gift cards, baby books, an album, diapers, a journal, lotion, cross earrings, a beautiful card, etc. What an amazing group of women. Some of these women I have only met once or twice...and maybe some, never? Some of these women have become close friends and I feel so blessed.
Tonight was Lily's first t-ball game. It was so cute. My favorite part was when I looked out field, where Lily was playing and there she was sitting in the grass, chewing on her glove, lol. No, just kidding...I loved watching her hit the ball and run to first base. All the kids looked so confused. It was like as soon as they hit the ball their turn was over, lol. Kids are great!! Then we went to Steak n Shake for the yummiest shake!
Lily and Alex are so precious these days. Amazing how in love I am with them. I missed them so much and will never again, take being home with them, for granted again.
I have been up late too many nights in a row. I need to get to the hospital in time to give Nathanael his bottle tomorrow, so I better sign off.
Oh, and my mouth hurts a bit more today but nothing I can't handle!

Kelly

Is Spring Here??

2009-04-15T22:42:00.002-05:00

Today was absolutely beautiful!!! After I hung out on the couch for a bit this morning, I was pretty confident that getting up and doing a few things would be ok. I headed outside to get the mail and decided that there was no way I was staying in all day, and neither were the kids. So, with mouth full of gauze, we headed out front. The kids played soccer, t-ball, rode their bikes, we had a picnic....just enjoyed the awesome weather. Then since I couldn't eat anything solid, I HAD to have Dairy Queen :).
I made it through the day with very little pain medication and the bleeding stopped after the first few hours. I am bummed out that I need to dump my milk today due to the pain meds given during the procedure but it was something I had to do. I am going to sleep, sitting up on the couch. Apparently lying down causes pain and I would like to avoid it, if I can :).
Tonight I picked up some pictures I had printed for me mom, and grabbed a few groceries. As each day goes on life seems more normal. And soon, Nathanael will be home and we can start our new life, as a complete family. I can't wait!!!
Off to relax....and I think I hear Lily crying :(.

Kelly

2009-04-15T09:39:00.004-05:00

I am a little behind. We have had a couple busy days.
First of all.....Nathanael, is doing great. He no longer has any type of IV:). He is doing really well with his feedings.....thata boy!!! He is still looking a little glowy but they are not treating it. I have been able to spend a lot of time holding him. He is so darn cute :). I am able to take his temp and change his diapers and clothes. It feels more real everyday. At first, it felt like I was just watching someone else's baby. He finally feels like mine :).
I am not getting great results from the reglan. A couple more days and I will run out of pills. I am going to continue to pump and give him as much as I can, as long as I can. He will likely end up on formula in the next few weeks....boo :(.
I had my incision check with my OB on Monday. He thinks I am recovering well. He snipped the stitches that were coming out of the wounds from the central line. He said that the rest of the stitches will work their way out over time. He explained how my incision with change over time. Basically, everything he told me was good news. He said total recovery will be about 6 months. I am hoping once I start exercising that I will feel more like myself, quickly.
Yesterday was a busy day. I took Lily to the dr's then to Toys R Us to spend her Easter money. Then, I dropped Lily off and picked up Alex. He and I went to Walmart, to spend his Easter money. This was the first day driving and running errands. It completely wiped me out! I had a quick, interrupted nap and headed up to see Nathanael. I started feeling sick at the hospital. I think it was what I ate for dinner, so the visit was, unfortunately quick.
I had my wisdom teeth pulled this morning. So far, I am feeling numb and a little unsteady. I took a couple percocet when I got home. It's interesting, trying to swallow when you can't feel your mouth. I am vegging on the couch, with ice packs on my face. I hope to just take it easy today and feel as little pain as possible. To be honest, my perception of pain is very different. Pain would have to be immense for me to complain, ever again!! Well, I am gonna sign off and relax.

Kelly

Happy Easter!!!

2009-04-12T22:38:00.002-05:00

Yeah!!! Happy Easter. Thank you Jesus for dying for us (who know you), so that we may live eternally :)!!!
Today was busy and tiring but great! We got up and well, the Easter bunny had come and brought the kids a couple toys and a handful of clothes. They got a soccer net, cars, a pony and a couple books. The soccer net was a big hit! Way to go bunny!! Then we got ready and headed out to church. The message was great, well, what I heard of it, lol. The kids sat with us. Lily has shown a great interest in how salvation works. I thought she would enjoy the message but she is sick. She caught Alex's cold and she is coughing and snotting everywhere. Poor girl :(.
Next we grabbed a quick lunch and headed up to see the baby. Nathanael looked great :). He is a little "bright"...yellowish but they are not concerned as he is eating and pooping well. I got to hold him for a long time. He had his eyes open for about 15 mins and I swear, looked right into my eyes. He even looked like he was rooting. When I asked the nurse about rooting she said they usually start doing that around 35 weeks. Then he did it while she was there and she offered him a pacifier. He took right to it and she said, yep, he's rooting alright. That's great!! I couldn't stay as long as I would like because Todd was watching both sick kids out in the waiting room area. After a couple hours, they are done! So, we headed out, grabbed McDonald's for Easter dinner, LOL, and headed home. I am so glad the kids are too young to know what is supposed to happen today, lol!
We hunted eggs over and over and over tonight. I love watching the kids do things they enjoy. I wish I had half their energy. Lily and Todd went to bed, as Lily is really sick, fever and all. Alex and I are still hanging out. He had a very late four hour nap.
I have only had one percocet today!! My pain has been pretty manageable just on ibuprofen. What an improvement from last weekend.
I just spoke with Nathanael's nurse. His PICC line clotted so they pulled it. He now has regular fluids, instead of TPN, running through a peripheral line. I am interested to see how they handle that tomorrow.
Well, Alex is looking like he could head to bed and I am so beat...... G'nite all!

Kelly

Awaiting the Bunny!

2009-04-11T23:17:00.002-05:00

The day started with pain and I was miserable. I had a terrible sleep thanks to an unexpected guest that was sleeping very soundly in my spot when I came to bed. Lily was so tired that she stuck next to me all night. I didn't want to get out of bed, or pump or anything! But we had a whole day planned so I dragged myself out of bed. Everyone was all ready to go out except me. I got in the shower and suddenly felt very sick. I thought I was going to throw up or pass out or both. Todd helped me back to bed. The kids went to Pop's and Todd did the much needed Easter shopping. I woke a couple hours later, still feeling off but not as sick. I spent most of the day lying around. No trip to see Nathanael :(. Two days without seeing him and it's killing me!!!
While hanging out on the couch I noticed that I have stitches coming out of both wounds on my chest!!!!! What is that all about? I will have to draw that to my OB's attention at my appt on Monday. I really hope it does not need to be messed with. But at the same time....why are there stitches hanging out of my skin??
I received a package from my mom for Nathanael and I. She sent a bunch of new preemie outfits for Nathanael. And, to my surprise, a couple nighties for me :).
The evening was a lot of fun, dying eggs and getting the baskets ready with Lily and Alex. The kids are so much fun. They made sure Nathanael got some of the eggs that they dyed :). Very cute!
Well, the bunny has to get up later, so it's off to bed.....

Kelly

Where, Oh Where is the Floor??

2009-04-10T22:02:00.002-05:00

Ok, I kid you not.....if you are absent from the home for any length of time.....DO NOT LOOK IN THE PLAYROOM!!!!! The playroom looked like someone stood at the doorway and threw buckets of toys, paper, crunched up chips, dried playdoh, broken crayons and a few dead bugs all over the room. Wow!!! What a mess. I couldn't see any of the floor and had to move things to get one foot in the room! It is evident that the last time anyone picked up a thing in there is the last time I did it! Well, an hour or so later, the room is now presentable and no one is allowed in EVER AGAIN, lol!
The kids and I had a great morning as we had our first post-hospital outing. We went to Mary's for a MOPS playdate. The kids played and hunted eggs and the mom's nibbled on a wonderful breakfast casserole and chatted. It was really nice to see everyone and be a part of something "normal". What a wonderful group of loving women!!
I know I have been in hospital for a while but I think I saw them talking about pirates on the news??? Pirates?? Do they really exist??
Todd took the kids up to the office when we returned from the playdate and I got a long nap. They returned around 7ish which meant no trip to the hospital :(. The nurses assured us that Nathanael is having another good day. He is still not eating as well as they would like but he did digest part of each feeding :). Progress!!! We are going to drop the kids off at Pop's tomorrow so we can get some Easter shopping done, then head up to the hospital. I can't wait to see my Nathanael. He is such a cutie.
All is quiet. Kids are asleep and Todd is watching TV in the basement. I am going to lie back and watch Jay Leno. I got hooked while in hospital, lol. Good night.

Kelly

Eat Baby, Eat!!!

2009-04-09T22:28:00.002-05:00

Nathanael's only issue at this point is his eating. He is still having trouble digesting his feedings. They changed his feedings to 4cc/hr continuous, instead of boluses every 3 hrs. The nurse I talked to tonight seemed to think that he is tolerating the continuous feed better. Only time will tell:).
I got a nice long visit with Nathanael today :). Todd dropped me off after we dropped the kids off at preschool. He opened his eyes for a few mins and I got some pretty good pictures. Tracie from FBCA came for a visit as well. It was nice to have the company. While she was visiting, Andy Benes, from the St. Louis Cardinals, came by. Nathanael and I got our picture taken with him and he signed a couple baseball cards. I have to be honest, I have no idea who he is, LOL, but it will be cool to show Nathanael when he can appreciate it.
My milk is still really low. Only one or two more days until the medication takes full effect. I remain hopeful!
Tonight, the rest of the family and I went to Target, to grab a few Easter items. I love doing simple things with them. I missed being home sooo much! Tomorrow we have an egg hunt at Mary's. The kids are excited (and so am I), to get out and do something fun.
What a great day!

Kelly

2009-04-08T20:58:00.002-05:00

I am sad, as I get ready for bed, that I didn't get to see Nathanael today :(. Todd had to work all day, then Lily had t-ball practice tonight. But...tomorrow I will get to spend at least half the day at the hospital. The nurse I talked to said that he is doing well. They took him off of oxygen completely and he is tolerating room air well. They upped his feedings to 10cc/3hrs. He had some residual with two feedings today. I hope they go better through the night.
I made an appt to have my wisdom teeth pulled. I have to clear the anaesthesia with my OB first. I will be having at least one tooth pulled next Wed. Oh, I hope the pain is not too bad!
The kids and I just hung out at the house today. Kinda hard to do anything else when you can't drive, LOL! The package my parents send for Easter arrived today. It was a nice treat for them They love getting any kind of mail but packages with toys are always the best :).
Well, I am going to try and settle.

Kelly

Progress...

2009-04-07T18:10:00.002-05:00

I went up to the hospital right after we dropped Lily off at preschool. Nathanael had had a wonderful night. NO SVTs!!! He had a couple episodes of bradycardia but they reassured me that it's just a preemie thing. The nurse took the feeding tube out for a break because he has the PICC line. She also mentioned that he can now wear clothes. She found him a little sleeper to wear. He looked soooooo cute :). It made him look healthier :). Then I got to hold him for an hour. The lactation consultant stopped by to chat and she wrote an order for skin to skin. So, after lunch I got to hold his naked little body against my bare chest for about 20 mins. How awesome!!! Just as I was leaving, the nurse had put the feeding tube back down and gave him a 5cc feeding. I am excited to hear whether he digested it or not. The entire time I visited he, again, had NO SVTs. A couple of episodes of bradycardia. Often his heart rate would come up on it's own, within seconds, without any intervention.
I saw the dentist and he referred me to an oral surgeon. I called and they can't see me for 2 weeks. I called a couple others but they were closed for the day. Hopefully I can get in to see one of them sooner. Two weeks is way too long. Pain is quite severe at times.
So, I would say that this is the best day Nathanael has had in a long time:). I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings :).

Kelly

Problem Solving

2009-04-06T23:21:00.003-05:00

Today was a day of working things out so my life seems more manageable. I got a refill on my pain meds, got a prescription for reglan, to help with milk production, made a dentist appt, managed to go to the hospital to see Nathanael and spend the entire day with Lily and Alex!!
Nathanael had a lot less episodes of SVTs today but now several episodes of bradycardia. At least bradycardia is a more normal thing for a preemie to do. He was not tolerating his feedings so they put a PICC line in. Poor baby :(. I got a nice long visit with him tonight. I even got to change his diaper :). Simple pleasures! I'll take 'em!!!
I am getting a sore throat...hoping it's gone by the morning. I was planning to spend most of the day at the hospital. The plans will change according to my symptoms.
Well, it is late and I am very tired. Off to beddy-bye!

Kelly

2009-04-05T19:45:00.003-05:00

Todd came home early, showered and we all headed out to the hospital. Nathanael had several runs of SVT through the night, some lasting a long time (up to 25 mins). He did ok with his feeding though.
When we arrived Todd and I split up. I took Lily with me, back to see Nathanael. Alex had to hang out with Todd in the waiting area because he has a cough. The nurse told me that he had several more bouts of SVT. This time his O2 sats were affected a couple of times. He also had some runs of arrhythmias. Lily and I hung out and played Go Fish for a couple hours. Todd took a turn with Lily while I hung out with Alex.
Alex suddenly got tired and flushed. We all went to the cafe for a quick drink. Alex fell right asleep and I noted his forehead got hotter and hotter. Within 30 mins or so Alex was red and sweating. So, one more quick visit, to see goodbye for the day and we all headed home.
A quick call to the nurse just now....Nathanael did not tolerate any feedings since noon. If he doesn't start eating soon they are going to have to put in a PICC line or peripheral IV, which will suck for him, big time. He continues to have runs of SVT despite his digoxin level being therapeutic.
I have a horrible tooth ache and am still sore from the surgery. I am running out of pain meds and had to space my meds out too much today. Needless to say, I am uncomfortable. Todd has to go to a client site all day tomorrow. I am starting to have anxiety already. I feel like I can't take too much more. Between two sick kids and feeling horrible myself, I want to just give up. Nathanael is going to be up at the hospital by himself tonight and most of tomorrow. That's just not right.
Ok, gotta do something else, other than complain....

Kelly

Little Challenges

2009-04-04T21:31:00.003-05:00

We got a call early this morning. They were transferring Nathanael to Cardinal Glennon with SVT, two runs, lasting 30 secs and 10 secs. They were able to bring him out of it by pushing his knees to his chest. This morning they heard a heart murmur, which is new for him. They decided that even though all his tests were normal that they should transfer him, just to be safe.
At Glennon they did an echocardiogram and found two holes in his heart, called PFO and SVD. The first usually closes up within the first week of birth. They think his just may be delayed. The second can also close on it's own, but sometimes takes up to a year.
He had another run of SVT, this time lasting 2 mins. Todd and I were present and man, it scared me, a whole lot!!! Once they got the heart rate down, it dropped. Freaked me out. The cardiologist said that sometimes the second hole can cause these accelerations. They are starting him of digoxin. They said he will go home on it :(.
I went home to get the kids around 4ish. Todd called a while later to tell me that Nathanael had a run of bradycardia. They were also able to snap him out of it quickly. They put him back on caffeine, which they had stopped upon admission.
So, even though he has a lot going on the docs said that he is stable and doing fine. They are most concerned that he is not tolerating his feedings. Todd just called to tell me that he has tolerated his last two feedings, which is huge, because he hasn't digested any breast milk in days.
Todd is spending the night. The kids and I are all snuggled into bed about to turn out the lights. I count my blessings that although he has had an eventful day, things are stable. I just think of how many issues he would have if we had delivered at 26 weeks, when this all started.
So, I will thank God for being so great and try to get a good night sleep, knowing that He is taking care of everything!

Kelly

On The Mend

2009-04-03T22:39:00.002-05:00

Everyday brings strength and less pain:):). Hooray! I must admit, I am getting a little tired of being in pain. I have been able to take less medication each day and have been able to move around a bit better so, I am hopeful it will end one day soon!
I had an absolutely fabulous day at home:). The kids and I all slept together in my bed. There is nothing better than rolling over in the middle of the night to see one of your kiddos just inches from your face. We slept in, painted finger and toe nails, got out the Easter stuff from last year...etc, etc... just plain, family fun stuff. I had a really long nap, which felt great. We all got ready and headed out to the hospital. Nathanael is doing well. They moved him into an isolette bed, which is where they go when they are more stable. He is still on c-pap, but they were able to turn it down a little. He also managed to keep some of his feedings down. I got a nice long visit, with another great surprise. They lifted the RSV restrictions on visits and Lily was able to go in and see Nathanael!!!!! She was super excited. I was so thrilled for her. Todd took her in and he said she was on cloud nine!! What a great surprise! The kids and I made up little pictures for Nathanael's bed. His little space is very homey now. I can't wait for him to come home.
So, I am going to get ready for bed. Alex fell asleep on the way home, so I think it's just going to be Lily joining me in bed tonight:). I am going to spoil them rotten and I don't care!!!
Life is good. God is so gracious:).

Kellyxo

Home, Home, on the Range...

2009-04-02T10:27:00.002-05:00

I am not sure when I have seen light in my kids eyes like I did, yesterday, as we left the hospital, hand in hand. They were telling everyone they passed in the hall that "my mama is coming home". We had dinner together, all went to Lily's t-ball practice and I was able to tuck them in bed:). What a wonderful feeling!!!
Being home isn't all fun (yet). I had to crawl up the stairs, with help, in order to tuck the kids in. I can't get into the durango or climb the two steps coming into the house. I had an episode of chills with shakes late last night. I was really worried that I was going to have to back to the hospital. I shook til I fell asleep. I woke this morning in incredible pain. I started thinking I left the hospital too early. Once my pain meds kicked in, all was well again.
Back to the positive things.... Nathanael is doing about the same. He is still on the c-pap and having trouble with his feedings. But he is holding strong. And he's darn cute!!!
Today, the kids went to school. Alex had a hard time leaving me. He looked scared, like I wasn't going to be here when he returned. I promised him I would be here when he got home from school. Jessie is going to take me up to the hospital around 12ish. I will get a good visit in and be home in time for the kids.
I realized today that this part of the journey is going to be tougher than I thought. I want to feel normal, so badly. And I miss Nathanael more than I ever imagined. But life is good and so is God, so we will make it through it:).

Kelly

My Last Days!

2009-04-01T00:23:00.003-05:00

According to my dr, I may actually be able to go home tomorrow:).
Nathanael is just about as cute as they get. He looks like a little duckie:). Love him!!! He is doing well again today. He is still on the c-pap machine. He is no longer under the fancy spot lights:). He isn't, however, tolerating the feedings again today so they are on hold. Well, at least it will give me time to save some milk for times when I cannot be here.
It is starting to hit me that he is not coming home with me and it sucks! I just hope the time passes quickly for him. I can't wait to get home and start setting up his bed, etc. I am so excited about going home and yet full of guilt with having to leave Nathanael here.
I have been getting around pretty good today. I hope my re-coop time is quick so I can get back into the swing of things. I am thinking about maybe a water aerobics class?? It's gonna take a looooong time to get this babe back in shape!!
Well, I have to get some sleep. Til tomorrow...

Kelly

A Day of Wonderful Surprises!

2009-03-30T23:42:00.002-05:00

It's been a great day!!! It has been full of wonderful surprises!!
1) First pump of the day....milk! Yippee! I've been able to pump enough to feed Nathanael all day:).
2) I had my catheter, my IVfluids and my dialysis catheter removed today:).
3) I walked in the hallway with physio, enjoyed it and had less pain because of it.
4) I had pain control all day:).
5) I had a MOPS visit and they brought me a "Basket of Hope" basket. It is full of amazing baby and mommy gifts, including several spiritual items, and a camera. Michelle brought me some of her little guy's premie clothes. Mary took some pics of Nathanael and I.
6) I got to HOLD Nathanael!!!!! I am not sure he loved it but I was melting!
7) The nurses took some picture of me holding Nathanael.
8) I received several visits from drs and nurse, just saying hello...
9) I received the most beautiful flowers from Adam, Tarrah and Caoilainn.
Life is good. Thank you God for all your many blessings.

Kelly

I Owe It All To YOU!!!

2009-03-29T21:12:00.002-05:00

I owe everything to God. Yesterday was, easily, one of the best days of my life. I owe it all to Him. He kept me strong and I couldn't have made it through all this without Him. I believe, fully, that He heard all my prayers, my heartache, my fears and He stuck by me the entire time. I have learned a huge lesson through all of this and I know that I will be a stronger person because of it. I have definitely learned to rely on God like I have never done before. We have a different relationship now. I also saw all the outpouring of love from my Christian brothers and sisters. What amazing witnesses all of them have been. I hope I get to share my testimony one day to help others as God has helped me.
God is amazing. He has plans for us, plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. Isn't this so true!! I love you Lord.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Welcome Baby Nathanael!!!

2009-03-29T20:42:00.003-05:00

Another wake up call, Sat, 2am, bright red bleeding. Small amount of bright red bleeding and then trickled darker bleeding for hours. I suffered cramps and back pain off and on throughout the night. They gave me terbutaline in the wee hours for contractions. Then.....one large gush, bright red around 7:30-8:00 am. The docs came in and told me that they were preparing me for the c-section. I called Todd and told him to get up here asap. I was able to talk to him on the phone as they rolled me into the OR. No time for the balloons or to take me to the main OR.
I remember, "Kelly, take a deep breath, then another'. And I was out!! I woke several hours later being told that it was all over and that both I had a baby and that both of us are fine. I was still really out of it. They took me to ICU next, I think. There I battled pain for an hour until I was out again. I woke at 6:30, disoriented....day or night???
Todd came by and filled me in on everything I missed. He showed me some pics of Nathanael:). Beauty:). I couldn't wait to meet him.
I spent the night in ICU, in and out of sleep due to meds. I started pumping...no luck yet. They moved me back to the 5th floor but a different wing than where I spent the last 5 weeks. I spent the day moving around a little bit but apparently they want me to start slooooooow!!! I got to see Nathanael for the first time around 11am today. I can feel tears coming now as I write about it. It was a wonderful moment. My beautiful baby boy:).
Todd and the kids came to visit for a few hours this afternoon. Unfortunately, they recently put into place a new policy, that siblings have to be at least 6 to visit the NICU. It was very disappointing. Hopefully they will at least get to see him through the window in the next few weeks.
I took another trip to see Nathanael this evening. I spoke with the NICU at long length about expectations and care for Nathanael. When he was born he cried and had an apgar of a full term baby. Yeah!!! They had to intubate him later in the day because he was really trying hard to breathe. They were able to extubate him this afternoon. He is now on a c-pap. He also is jaundice and the nurse expected that he will be under the lights tomorrow morning. But he is doing so well. He is so adorable. He has Alex's nose and I think, my ears. He has the cutest little peach fuzz for hair. He is tiny but looks strong. I can't wait til I can hold him.
They told me that I may be able to go home on WEDNESDAY!! I can't wait!! I will be very sad, leaving without the little man but I know he will be home shortly after me. We have made it this far, we can make it through anything.
I look forward to many wonderful days ahead!

Kellyxo

31 Weeks!!!

2009-03-27T18:23:00.001-05:00

So, here, we are...one week closer! Today has been quiet, uneventful. My pain has been less, therefore under control all day. I got to have a shower after several days without:).
Not much else to report. Kids were supposed to come for movie night but....long story, short...they are not coming.

Kelly

Burger Recipe

2009-03-27T11:45:00.002-05:00

As soon as I get out of here and back on my feet, I am going to try and make these. They sound so yummy and soooo bad for you!!

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/beer-braised-bacon-bacon-cheeseburgers/

Kelly

Another Dreary Day!

2009-03-26T22:45:00.003-05:00

Waking up in pain is never a good sign of what's to come. They woke my at 4am to put baby on the monitor. I have been fighting a cold for several days. Once awake, I started to cough. It continued for about an hour. I finally fell back asleep but when I woke at 8am, my entire chest was throbbing. I was not sure if the pain was from the new port or the coughing. In any case, I was in a lot of pain. I have taken pain meds every 4 hours, all day and plan to take them until this pain is completely gone.
I also got another shot or terbutaline for contractions early this evening. It is starting to become a daily thing. It works wonders though, and I guess that's what counts.
Todd came up to hang out with me when he realized I was having another rough day. He had his dad pick the kids up from preschool so he could spend some time with me, alone. It was nice. I can't wait to kick-start our marriage again when I get home.
Jessie made a surprise visit tonight. She shaved my legs and painted my toe nails a very pretty, bright pink. I am getting much better at Phase 10!! It's so nice of her take time out of her schedule to check in on me:).
I am hoping for a better sleep tonight... I think I have an order for sudafed if needed?? And for less pain tomorrow.
My dad's surgery went well? I guess? They were unable to find the hole/perforation when they went in, so they just closed him back up!! He is hanging out, with a drain in place, waiting to see what will happen next. Tarrah has been keeping my updated:). Hopefully they keep him at least a couple more days....

Ok, off to beddy-bye:). Nite nite!!

Never Again!!!

2009-03-25T16:17:00.005-05:00

Yesterday morning I took a trip to the OR to have an Ash catheter placed in my left chest. I wasn't anticipating what was about to happen. Basically, I felt like someone was putting a spike through my shoulder!!! I can't remember a time when I was in that much pain. Upon arriving back to the floor, they struggled to get me comfortable. After tylenol 3's, morphine and some benadryl, I spent the next few hours in a semi-conscious/sleep state. After a short nap, the pain returned with a vengeance! They gave me morphine, some more morphine and finally enough morphine to knock me out again. I started to feel relief by late last night. What a day!! I had to cancel all visitors, including the kids. I was in no way feeling up to chatting.
I drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the evening. By 1:30am they offered me some benadryl to help me sleep. I slept for a little while until I woke to the sound of my IV beeping (a usual night disturbance). While laying there I noted that I was having contraction after contraction. They put me on the monitor and sure enough I was contracting every 3-5 mins. They gave me a shot of terbutaline and they settled right down. I had a small amount of bleeding...I am assuming from all the contractions. Within 30 mins I was back to sleep and all went well for the rest of the night.
Today my pain has been MUCH more tolerable. I was able to resume some normal activities and have only taken a small amount of pain medication. The kids and Todd came up for a visit. Lily has her first (ever) t-ball practice tonight. She entered my room with her new pink helmet on and pink bat in hand. Very adorable! She is very excited. Todd is going to be coaching her team, therefore making Alex assistant coach:). They are going to try and film some of the practice tonight so I don't miss out:).
On an entirely different note....Tarrah called this morning and was at the hospital with my parents and Adam. My dad had woken through the night with abdominal pain. The pain persisted so he went to urgent care this morning. She called back about 30 mins ago and said that the CT scan shows a hole in my dad's bowel and he is heading to surgery. They expect the surgery to be about 3 hours. He will have a colostomy for 3 months. Then they will go back in and resect his bowel. I can just imagine how bad my dad is freaking out since any little change to him is life-altering. Hopefully, all will go well!! I wish they knew Jesus!!!
So, I'm gonna hang back and relax a bit. Caio for now:).

Kelly

2009-03-23T18:13:00.002-05:00

My veins have had enough and are saying, no more! The docs talked to me today about a central line. Tomorrow morning I will go to the OR and with a local (possibly a general), I will have a central line inserted into my chest. Of course, like with everything else, there is a risk....bleeding, pneumothorax, etc, but it is a pretty routine procedure. Apparently the other lady with the accreta had a problem with her IV access on the way to surgery and they said that they don't want to take that chance with me. I will soon be able to use both arms freely:).
One of my favorite residents came in about an hour ago and we had a long chat about the surgery plans. She told me that the incision is going to start at the top of my chest and run vertically down to my belly button, zigzig around the belly button and run downward. It's the safest way to get to all of the arteries around the uterus without having to mess with the placenta. She also said that they will be leaving my cervix in, as removing it can cause a large blood loss....and they will be leaving my ovaries, unless they don't want to come apart from the uterus. She talked about possibly leaving part of the placenta attached, etc...basically, that once they get in there they will have to make judgement calls based on what is best for me at that time. I asked about recovery. She said basic recovery is 2 days in ICU and then up to a week on a regular floor.
It sounds like they learned a lot from doing surgery last week on the other mom with the accreta. It's purely God!!!
Kim Miller stopped by earlier and made me a small baby album. We played dominos and chatted. As usual, it was nice to have a visitor. No kiddos today....totally bummed me out. They will be coming, tomorrow, after school.
Well, I'm gonna eat me some dinner and watch the season finale of Jon and Kate Plus 8. Until tomorrow....

Kelly

Ambidextrous

2009-03-22T21:34:00.003-05:00

I have one IV in my right thumb and another in the bend of my right elbow...making typing very difficult. I may be cutting this a little short tonight.
They decreased my mag early this morning because I "behaved" myself through the night. But... at 11am, I had several contractions in a short period of times so they gave me a shot of terbutaline. It worked well. The contractions slowed right down. The side effects were a little yucky but it left my system as quickly as it entered. The rest of the day has been pretty uneventful:).
Carol from PFM ministry came to visit this afternoon. It was great to see her. She recently returned from a trip to Egypt and Israel. She told me that her husband (of 40 yrs), finally gave his life over to Christ in January and he was baptized in the Jordan River. How awesome!!!
Melissa, from my MOPS group, stopped by this evening. It's so nice to laugh and chat with friends like nothing is out of the ordinary. She brought me some premie clothes.....oh my gosh, they are so small and so adorable. She also brought me some nursing supplies. What a great gift!! I am sure Todd will be grateful to not have to shop for nursing supplies:).
The kids are home and ohhhhh, sooooo cute on the phone. I love listening to them when they are all excited and trying to tell my a story. I hope they come to visit tomorrow.
Ok....my hand is say enough.....

Kelly

3 am Wake Up Call

2009-03-20T19:55:00.003-05:00

I woke at 3am this morning to a startling discovery. I was bleeding. I felt two gushes. Sure enough, bright red blood. It's the first I have had in more than 3 weeks. Thankfully it stopped. I had another gush this morning, much darker blood this time. I bled a couple times through the day, very small amounts of dark blood. I limited my activities today, more for my mental sanity than anything.
Todd had spent the night so he was here with me:). He hung around for half the day and headed home. Then I got a wonderful surprise....Jessie called and she wanted to know if I wanted company. I was like.....do I??? Of course!!! So, she brought me Bread Co, yummy, and stayed all evening. We laughed and talked, like usual. We played cards, which turned out to be dangerous, as they were flying around the room:).
Apparently, throughout the hilarious laughter I didn't realize that I was having contractions. The nurse came in and increased my magnesium.....bummer!!! And she threatened me with terbutline. Once the mag was increased my contractions went away and I didn't require any other meds.
I am feeling the effects of the mag, and Jessie thought I was pretty funny. I feel a little "off". Anyway....whatever they need to do right??
They are having difficulty resiting my IVs. I think someone is going to suggest a PICC line. I have conflicting feelings about it but I don't think they are going to ask my opinion anyway, lol.
Well, another day down.... Looking forward to many more:).

Kelly

30 Weeks!!!

2009-03-20T19:55:00.002-05:00

We have made it to 30 weeks!!! Almost unbelievable. I had an ultrasound this morning and the baby looks great. He weighs 4.0 lbs!!!!! He is measuring 9 days over his age.....big boy:). Although, that's nothing new to this womb. I feel very encouraged by making it to 30 weeks. I can actually see us making it to 34, which seemed unimaginable when we were admitted.
The other patient, with the same diagnoses, was rushed for a c-section and surgery today. I heard the outcome was good. Thank you Lord! I just pray that our outcome is equally as successful!
The kids are visiting "the guys" for the weekend. Todd came up and we ordered chinese food. Yummy! It was a nice treat. He is here now hanging out with me. I appreciate him staying, since a quiet night at home probably sounds like pure bliss to him, right about now.
So, I will sign out for another night..... Sore throat developing....hope it's nothing....

Kelly

Squeaky Clean

2009-03-19T22:35:00.002-05:00

Jessie came up again today! She shaved my legs, gave me a pedicure and painted my toe nails. We then shared dinner and watched Fireproof. What a great movie!!! And what an amazing friend!!! She is truly a blessing to our family!
I am feeling virtually no contractions. Small ones are still registering on the monitor but the bigger ones are very few and far between. It's quite nice not having contractions around the clock :). More importantly, I can't help but think that it's an improvement in my condition.
Todd and the kids came up for a visit today. It's so nice to see them:). I miss everyone so much. I am grateful for whatever time I get with them. I was hoping to go outside today but the weather turned out to be cool and windy. The kids are going to "the guys" house this weekend so I won't get to see them again until Sunday, maybe Monday:). I know they will have a good time though. Maddie, Todd's niece, is being baptized this weekend. Praise God:).
Well, another day is winding down. It was a great day filled with lots of love! Looking forward to a new day tomorrow:).

Hugs,
Kelly

More Than One of A Kind

2009-03-18T20:41:00.002-05:00

So, I was informed this morning that there is now another patient on the floor with the same diagnosis as me. The doctors have used my MRI as a comparison. The new patient is due the week after me...and I think they mentioned she had twins?? I am encouraged by this new twist. I think the doctors can learn something new from each case. I am hopeful that by having two patients with similar stories, that they will be able to apply something new to the entire process. I wonder if they will let us meet???
Everything else, I am happy to say, is the same:). Day, by, day, by, day:). Can't wait til my next ultrasound!!!

Kelly

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

2009-03-17T21:11:00.003-05:00

Happy St. Patty's day! I loved watching the Today Show today. They showed all sorts of fun things from Ireland. I missed being home to spend the holiday with the kids. I always try to make, even the most simple holiday, exciting. Jessie watched the kids today so I am sure they had a great day, regardless of what they did. The weather was awesome today so I am sure they played outside.
Todd, the kids and Jessie came up to visit this evening. They brought me pizza and a St. Patty's cake. The kids seem different, so easily upset by things. I can't wait to be home and make everything better for them. Todd said Alex is crying every night at bedtime. The only way Todd has been able console him is to let him sleep with. It breaks my heart to know that he is hurting so bad.
Everything here is going well. I have had very few contractions today:). My belly is getting big:). I can only imagine how big Nathanael is getting. He likes to lie on the left side of my belly. At times, I can feel a big hump, seemingly all curled up, on my left side. So cute!
I've had a couple late nights. Gonna try to settle in soon.

Kelly

Knit One...

2009-03-16T18:12:00.003-05:00

While talking to my mom today she mentioned the sweaters she recently made for the kids. It occurred to me that having a hobby like knitting would be great right now. I have never made a baby blanket. What an opportunity. It would be great to make my first baby blanket while waiting for my third baby to be born. Now...I don't have the supplies, or the first inkling on how to knit, LOL! I will have to brainstorm but I am excited about this new prospect.
On the baby front.....things remain the same..... I have a super nice nurse (Jodi) today. It helps the day pass when I feel taken care of. She has been chit-chatting with me all day. Very nice of her!
Pastor Kenny called today to say hello and let me know that he and his family are praying for our family! I was really touched that he called me personally. We are so blessed to have found such an amazing church.
I finished reading Riven today. It was a very good book. It even choked me up a little near the end. The author has written an entire series, the Left Behind series. I will have to check into the series.
They are weighing me daily and apparently are concerned that I am not gaining any weight. The past couple of days I have "forced" myself to eat more, lol. Do they know who they are talking to? Eating is one thing that I have mastered!!! Challenge accepted :)
So, we are almost at a close for another day:). We are creeping up to 30 weeks. Truly amazing!!! Thank you God!

Kelly

Still Needed?

2009-03-15T19:07:00.002-05:00

I was really tired this morning, lacking any energy. I napped at 11:00, before having a shower. I just couldn't get moving. I have had a hard time, the past couple of days...feeling unneeded. I feel completely separated from my household. I don't know what's going on half the time and almost feel as if they have moved on without me. It's really hard to see your whole world go on without you in it. I wanted to just cry and cry it all out last night but every time I started to cry, someone came into my room. I haven't had a really good cry since this all started and I felt like I needed it. I, unfortunately, took some of my frustration out on Todd when he arrived with the kids today. Then I was crying in front of the kids, while I was yelling at Todd. Never a good thing.
After my mini-breakdown, I tried to enjoy my visit with the kids. I can't say I am feeling very upbeat at this moment, but at least I am not sobbing! I am going to try and relax, read my book and maybe watch a little tv.
I am grateful to God for another day, pregnant, regardless of the circumstances. I trust that all of this is part of His plan and that I will make it through it, one day at a time.

Kelly

Book Review

2009-03-14T19:54:00.004-05:00

Today has kinda dragged by. Thankfully, I started a book, called "Riven". It has held me captive most of the day. Saturday TV really stinks! Not much to report...everything remains the same.
Fran went to heaven yesterday. Prayers go out to the Sommer Family.

Kelly

2009-03-14T09:47:00.002-05:00

I didn't blog last night because I fell asleep while reading a book. I was really tired last night, for some reason. Anyway....we have made it to 29 weeks!! How amazing! Almost unbelievable! Things are just trucking along, day by day. I continue to have occasional contractions and small bouts of bleeding, all old stuff, thankfully.
The kids came up for a visit. They are really getting used to being up here. They know where everything is and what they cannot touch :). I miss being home so much...but can't change things...so as Lily would say...I am going to "suck it up" and move on, LOL!
My nurse just went to check to see if I can have a shower...so I'm gonna sign off for now.

Kelly

Three Weeks!

2009-03-12T21:57:00.002-05:00

I have been in hospital for three weeks! Most days have gone by pretty fast. Today flew by, thanks to my visitors. Jessie was here for hours and pampered me by shaving my legs and giving me a manicure and pedicure. She also brought me some beautiful bright flowers from her family. The March's, Heather Patterson and Beth (Duep) came to visit as well. I feel very loved :).
Things are about the same. I had a small amount of bleeding today, all old blood, thankfully!
I am excited to make it to 29 weeks, which is tomorrow:). I can't believe we've been at this three weeks already. More to come:).
Alex got sent home from school today with pink eye. Todd's pretty sure it's not pink eye but is gonna treat it with drops, as the dr. suggested. They went out for dinner with Pop. I am glad that they all spent the day together.
Well.....there's not much else to report! Prayers still going out to Fran and family!

Kelly