For Today

Outside my window...everything is green and growing, having been bathed in rain today.  It's sticky and feels like summer for a change.  It's dark and quiet and peaceful.

I am thinking...about friends and family and relationships.  I think about this a lot these days.  It causes such heartache and worry.  It consumes me some days with little escape.  I've told myself more than once to let go and move on.

From the kitchen...fresh veggies and homemade jam.  Enough said!

I am creating...a new friendship.  One that has all the right components, with just the right amount of each.  I look forward to the future when I think about this new friend :)  I know God has put her in my life at a time when I need to be reminded that there are good people everywhere.

I am going...to start blogging again. It's good therapy for me. Usually no one read it and it's a great way to put my thoughts down on paper(ish).

I am wearing...my mismatched, but most comfy of all, jammies.

I am reading...not much these days if it's not on the computer.  Boo!!!  I need to do something about that.

I am hoping...to have God help me to release the anguish I feel over the loss of a friendship, so dear, it should never end.  I am hoping to find comfort and peace.  I am hoping God gives me the words to know I did all I could do.

I am hearing...nothing but the a/c.  Nice for a while but then I miss little kid voices.

I am praying...for many things.  For the lumps to disappear.  For Tara.  For Cindy.  For the unsaved.  For new and old friends.  For my family's health.  For God's guidance, always.

Around the house...it's quiet.  Everyone is sleeping. And I should be too!! I going to bed.

The Letter Z

Z is the twenty-sixth and last letter of the English alphabet. But how do you pronounce it?

Zee or Zed?

Zed is the name of the letter in Great Britain, India, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and most other places on earth where English is used. But in America they call it zee.

Is one letter name correct and the other wrong? Let's investigate history, shall we :).

The nutshell story of zed? Zed entered Middle English from French representing a “ts” or “ds” sound, then came to represent the voiced sibilant in, for example, the word zoo. Because it entered French from Latin as zeta, it became zède in modern French, zeta in modern Spanish and Italian and zed in English.

The letter name zee, now American, was not invented in America. The letter has actually had eight or more names during its long sojourn at the bottom of the English alphabet: zad, zard, zed, zee, ezed, ezod, izod, izzard, uzzard. One of those names is zee, a dialect form last heard in England during the late seventeenth century. That name was brought to America by British immigrants, perhaps not on the Mayflower but very early indeed in American history.

In the first great dictionary of English in 1755 (there were other, lesser wordlists printed earlier), Dr. Johnson opined “Z . . . zed.

In 1828 Noah Webster, the mighty American wielder of word clout, guaranteed that zee would predominate in the United States. In Webster’s magisterial American Dictionary of the English Language he stated: “Z . . . It is pronounced zee.”

The Concise Oxford Companion states, “The modification of zed ... to zee appears to have been by analogy with bee, dee, vee, etc."

Lye’s New Spelling Book(1677) was the first to list “zee” as a correct pronunciation.

Does all this really matter? Not really, but it explains a few things. And I'm all about being informational about all things Canadian to my fellow America friends.

How about a Zed-28, eh?!

Tune in next week when we discuss the differences between re and er. (just kidding)

~Kelly

365 Days

A lot can happen in a year. This time last year I made a guest appearance at St. Mary's. They liked me so much that they invited me to stay for 6 weeks. I must have made a very good impression.

Since that day, a lot has happened:

~ I developed a relationship with God that has taken me to places that I never knew existed.

~ I learned that the people you least expect to be there for you, are there, 100%. And unfortunately, some of the ones that should be, sadly, are not.

~I gained a lot of respect for the United States medical system. In Canada, the US system is referred to as "terrible". Terrible it is NOT!

~I found strength in myself that I didn't know I had.

~I realized that God WILL be there for me through anything!

I often think about the whole "experience" and I am grateful. As today grew near, I had fear, even some dreams about the past. But today, I celebrate!

I celebrate:

~Being part of a divine miracle

~A precious baby boy

~My friends and family that made it all possible

~Life

~And death because I now know if that had been the end result for me that everything would still be ok

~As much time as God gives me with my kids

So, thank you God and thank you friends that supported me with your prayers and love. I will never forget this journey.

Kelly

Working Girl

8 steps to shock your system.

1. Be at stay-at-home mom for 5+ years

2. Have a thought or two about going back to work

3. Stop by your local choice of employment, fill out an app, just for fun

4. Have interview #1

5. Have interview #2

6. Get hired, full-time

7. Start on Monday

Pay particular attention to the last step because it's most important....(drum roll please)

8. Do it all in one weeks time.

Now, sit back and watch your body not know if it's coming or going. Expect sleepless nights, although you are exhausted. An upset stomach and inability to get up in the morning, on time, is usual for most. Forgetting to take a lunch to work may happen since, in the past, food was within reach, at all times. Expect many mini-break downs because the tasks you used to take for granted are now being done by someone else.

~Kelly, working girl

Pounds To Go

I started a diet today. I've been on a new diet 203,485,382 days in a row now.

I've been overweight since, about age 13? Looking at my parents, I am not sure where I got this fat gene, but I got it, rather, it's got me. Over the years I have been on the soup diet, the cabbage soup diet, the orange diet, the weight watchers diet (3times), the I'm just gonna starve myself diet, the if I only eat a little bit of chocolate I'll be ok diet and the ever famous, I'll start again tomorrow diet. Some have worked but never lasted.

I am currently on the, make it to noon, then pig out diet. I must say, I am enjoying it. I don't even feel like I'm on a diet some days!

When I was in college I weighed, around 180 lbs. I had struggled over the years but have never hit such a number. I made myself a promise, at that time, that I would NEVER see the scale hit 200. So, I became a vegan, exercised until I dropped and lost 50 lbs. I worked at it, hard and it stayed off for years. When it slowly creeped up I was able to take it back down.

When I first met Todd I weighed 128 lbs and I ran 3-5 miles, 4-6 days a week. The gym and I were best buds. I was single, kidless and motivated to be healthy. I ate right and look good (if I do say so myself).

Then the children came along. After Lily, I hired a personal trainer and managed to get almost all of the baby weight off. Then came Alex. I lost 25 lbs in the first 6 week. About 6 months later, I put it all back on. I was teetering close to that dreaded 200 lbs. I fought over the next year or so to get the weight off but it wouldn't stay off for long. When I got pregnant with Nathanael I weighted 194 lbs. During that pregnancy I saw the scale hit 200 and continue on...... The day before I delivered Nathanael the scale read 216. Yikes!

So, here we are....dieting again. Exercising.....ummm, never. I am in a funk and discouraged and eating myself into bad health. I have something wrong with my stomach. Not, the something, a tums can cure. It's the stabbing pain through my chest, feel like I could vomit, something. And what do I do about it?? Well, the $162.00/month prescription is out of the question. The scope, that will add more $$$ to our bazillion dollars of medical bills is out of the question. And apparently, the moderate junk food, no soda, bland food only, diet is out of the question too. So, I eat crap and endure pain on a daily basis, just to fill my face or void, whatever that may be.

I wonder what it is going to take? I pray that God gives me the guidance I need or plainly, kicks me in the right direction before I regret not taking better care of my body.

So, a new diet it is again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Kelly

"We Don't Use That Word In Our House Mom"

I HATE the dentist!! Well, not all dentists, personally, just going to the dentist. I hate the smell. I hate the sound. It makes me cringe.

Why?? Well, I was born with an allergy to milk. So, I had powdered milk, or goat's milk (yuck) instead. Not sure why it didn't occur to someone to give me a calcium supplement, but in any case, I spent many a day in the dentist chair as a child. The inside of my mouth looks like a checker board due to all the fillings. Couldn't anyone have come up with a better color for fillings?

Then, there was the whole wisdom teeth pulled, dry socket experience, from last spring. Seriously, who would think something so small, like a tooth, would cause so much pain!!

Then there's my daughter. Bless her naive little heart. "Mama, I want to go to the dentist". "Pretty please". Well, sure thing. Let me check around for prices. Ok, Dr. so-and-so, how much is a pediatric cleaning? $180.00?!?! After they revived me, I told Lily we would have to wait on that for a couple of months! God must have realized how much Lily wanted to go to the dentist because He sent me a coupon, via a MOPS friend, so that we could get the big first visit for about a quarter of the price!! Hooray!! Thanks Jen!

Lily was soooo excited. She has been counting down the days since I made the appointment. And today, was the big day!!! Boy was she excited! She brushed her teeth extra long this morning. She was so cute to watch. She was all giddy, as if she was going somewhere fun. I love the enthusiasm children have. Oh, to have enjoyment in the simple things of life again.

As soon as we opened the door, that smell, you know, that one dentisty smell, the smell that you cannot find anywhere else, hit me. Picture me shivering in yuckiness. I mean, I didn't want to be rude and hold me nose, but ewww. It just has too many bad connotations.

Lily got to sit in the big chair. I could tell she was nervous, not knowing anything about the process. But she is a trooper. She sat there, with a huge smile, enjoying every minute of it. The hygienist was super nice and so great with Lily. She explained everything, step by step. She had her teeth cleaned with strawberry toothpaste. Yummers! Her exam showed no cavities!!! And that she brushed well, as she had very little plaque. Yippee!! She had her picture taken twice, one of her teeth and one of her smiling with her newly cleaned chompers :).

When the dentist came in to meet her she only had one question. "What are you going to do?". Once he said he was going to count her teeth, she relaxed. Seemed simple enough. She was beaming when they presented her with a new toothbrush and sparkle toothpaste. The icing on the cake though was getting a toy from the toy box.

The entire experience was great. She even had to stop at Pop's on the way home to show him her shining teeth :). She cracks me up!

I hope to ride the "I love the dentist" wave for many years to come.

Christmas

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given--when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes."
~ Joan Winmill Brown, American author and editor.

I have many wonderful memories of Christmas as a child.

I remember the year, my brother and I got a VCR. And the year we got a hockey net!! A hockey net!!! I mean, how cool is that???

I remember that we would have friends and family over on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I remember that my mom would cook all day. And the relatives would start piling in mid-afternoonish to swap gifts and eat a feast (well, unless there was a home show...hehe, just a little inside joke...).

I remember after dinner we would all sit around and enjoy some good laughs. There would be phone calls to family members that lived out of town and then some more laughs.

In 2002, Christmas changed for me. That was the year I came to know Jesus Christ as my savior. Thinking back, the first couple of years, although I had been saved, Christmas was still not really centered around Christ's birth. I am happy to say that this year will be a memorable one, for sure. The kids are old enough to understand the real Christmas story and, well, this past year, something in me has changed.

Christ has a much larger portion of me that He has ever had in the past. He definitely got my attention this year and I am nothing but grateful for it.

This year I spent night after night talking with the kids about the birth of our Savior. We made our first birthday cake for Jesus. I struggled with the whole Santa thing. I even contemplated telling the kids the truth....but I chicken out.

I felt like, God would be proud of me this year :). I hope to make 2010 a year to remember. A Christ-centered year.