Pounds To Go

I started a diet today. I've been on a new diet 203,485,382 days in a row now.

I've been overweight since, about age 13? Looking at my parents, I am not sure where I got this fat gene, but I got it, rather, it's got me. Over the years I have been on the soup diet, the cabbage soup diet, the orange diet, the weight watchers diet (3times), the I'm just gonna starve myself diet, the if I only eat a little bit of chocolate I'll be ok diet and the ever famous, I'll start again tomorrow diet. Some have worked but never lasted.

I am currently on the, make it to noon, then pig out diet. I must say, I am enjoying it. I don't even feel like I'm on a diet some days!

When I was in college I weighed, around 180 lbs. I had struggled over the years but have never hit such a number. I made myself a promise, at that time, that I would NEVER see the scale hit 200. So, I became a vegan, exercised until I dropped and lost 50 lbs. I worked at it, hard and it stayed off for years. When it slowly creeped up I was able to take it back down.

When I first met Todd I weighed 128 lbs and I ran 3-5 miles, 4-6 days a week. The gym and I were best buds. I was single, kidless and motivated to be healthy. I ate right and look good (if I do say so myself).

Then the children came along. After Lily, I hired a personal trainer and managed to get almost all of the baby weight off. Then came Alex. I lost 25 lbs in the first 6 week. About 6 months later, I put it all back on. I was teetering close to that dreaded 200 lbs. I fought over the next year or so to get the weight off but it wouldn't stay off for long. When I got pregnant with Nathanael I weighted 194 lbs. During that pregnancy I saw the scale hit 200 and continue on...... The day before I delivered Nathanael the scale read 216. Yikes!

So, here we are....dieting again. Exercising.....ummm, never. I am in a funk and discouraged and eating myself into bad health. I have something wrong with my stomach. Not, the something, a tums can cure. It's the stabbing pain through my chest, feel like I could vomit, something. And what do I do about it?? Well, the $162.00/month prescription is out of the question. The scope, that will add more $$$ to our bazillion dollars of medical bills is out of the question. And apparently, the moderate junk food, no soda, bland food only, diet is out of the question too. So, I eat crap and endure pain on a daily basis, just to fill my face or void, whatever that may be.

I wonder what it is going to take? I pray that God gives me the guidance I need or plainly, kicks me in the right direction before I regret not taking better care of my body.

So, a new diet it is again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Kelly

"We Don't Use That Word In Our House Mom"

I HATE the dentist!! Well, not all dentists, personally, just going to the dentist. I hate the smell. I hate the sound. It makes me cringe.

Why?? Well, I was born with an allergy to milk. So, I had powdered milk, or goat's milk (yuck) instead. Not sure why it didn't occur to someone to give me a calcium supplement, but in any case, I spent many a day in the dentist chair as a child. The inside of my mouth looks like a checker board due to all the fillings. Couldn't anyone have come up with a better color for fillings?

Then, there was the whole wisdom teeth pulled, dry socket experience, from last spring. Seriously, who would think something so small, like a tooth, would cause so much pain!!

Then there's my daughter. Bless her naive little heart. "Mama, I want to go to the dentist". "Pretty please". Well, sure thing. Let me check around for prices. Ok, Dr. so-and-so, how much is a pediatric cleaning? $180.00?!?! After they revived me, I told Lily we would have to wait on that for a couple of months! God must have realized how much Lily wanted to go to the dentist because He sent me a coupon, via a MOPS friend, so that we could get the big first visit for about a quarter of the price!! Hooray!! Thanks Jen!

Lily was soooo excited. She has been counting down the days since I made the appointment. And today, was the big day!!! Boy was she excited! She brushed her teeth extra long this morning. She was so cute to watch. She was all giddy, as if she was going somewhere fun. I love the enthusiasm children have. Oh, to have enjoyment in the simple things of life again.

As soon as we opened the door, that smell, you know, that one dentisty smell, the smell that you cannot find anywhere else, hit me. Picture me shivering in yuckiness. I mean, I didn't want to be rude and hold me nose, but ewww. It just has too many bad connotations.

Lily got to sit in the big chair. I could tell she was nervous, not knowing anything about the process. But she is a trooper. She sat there, with a huge smile, enjoying every minute of it. The hygienist was super nice and so great with Lily. She explained everything, step by step. She had her teeth cleaned with strawberry toothpaste. Yummers! Her exam showed no cavities!!! And that she brushed well, as she had very little plaque. Yippee!! She had her picture taken twice, one of her teeth and one of her smiling with her newly cleaned chompers :).

When the dentist came in to meet her she only had one question. "What are you going to do?". Once he said he was going to count her teeth, she relaxed. Seemed simple enough. She was beaming when they presented her with a new toothbrush and sparkle toothpaste. The icing on the cake though was getting a toy from the toy box.

The entire experience was great. She even had to stop at Pop's on the way home to show him her shining teeth :). She cracks me up!

I hope to ride the "I love the dentist" wave for many years to come.

Christmas

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given--when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes."
~ Joan Winmill Brown, American author and editor.

I have many wonderful memories of Christmas as a child.

I remember the year, my brother and I got a VCR. And the year we got a hockey net!! A hockey net!!! I mean, how cool is that???

I remember that we would have friends and family over on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I remember that my mom would cook all day. And the relatives would start piling in mid-afternoonish to swap gifts and eat a feast (well, unless there was a home show...hehe, just a little inside joke...).

I remember after dinner we would all sit around and enjoy some good laughs. There would be phone calls to family members that lived out of town and then some more laughs.

In 2002, Christmas changed for me. That was the year I came to know Jesus Christ as my savior. Thinking back, the first couple of years, although I had been saved, Christmas was still not really centered around Christ's birth. I am happy to say that this year will be a memorable one, for sure. The kids are old enough to understand the real Christmas story and, well, this past year, something in me has changed.

Christ has a much larger portion of me that He has ever had in the past. He definitely got my attention this year and I am nothing but grateful for it.

This year I spent night after night talking with the kids about the birth of our Savior. We made our first birthday cake for Jesus. I struggled with the whole Santa thing. I even contemplated telling the kids the truth....but I chicken out.

I felt like, God would be proud of me this year :). I hope to make 2010 a year to remember. A Christ-centered year.

Please Pray

http://Brutton.wordpress.com/

Too Many Frogs

WARNING: THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN BY AN OVER-TIRED, CRANKY MOTHER. IF YOU ARE IN A GOOD MOOD, DON'T READ IT. IT WILL BRING YOU DOWN! IF YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD, DON'T READ IT. IT MAY JUST SEND YOU OVER THE EDGE!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Christmas is supposed to be about sharing and caring. Talking about the birth of Jesus. Spending time with family, doing things, that only come once a year.

This Christmas season, it has been about how many things we can cram into one month, exhausted kids and exhausted parents. And we still have a couple weeks to go!!!!

December has looked like this:

1st: Dr's appt. Cancelled due to insurance. Have I mentioned how much they suck?

Make cookies for WNAC (cookie press broke).

2nd: WNAC meeting. I was responsible to hand out prayer cards to all the ladies for the month of Dec. Cookies and crafts. Yearly nominations, to which, by some misunderstanding I got nominated for three positions. I will be taking two.

3rd: Arts 'N' Crafts with Santa at the Fox Service Center, through Parents As Teachers.

4th: Prepare for Pampered Chef party and weekend birthday party.

5th: Niece's birthday party, which involved ice skating in Forest Park, followed by Incredible Pizza.

6th: Sunday school, worship, subway, Pampered Chef Party, clean-up, evening church service

All Angel Tree gifts are due in. 50 some-odd gifts are handed into me, to organize and package up to deliver.

7th: Start planning for the kids Christmas party/Angel Tree party

8th: Alex wakes, covered in hives. Babysitting the pastor's daughter so that he can be at the hospital with a church member who is having surgery. Alex's hives fade but return in the late afternoon. My dr. calls, wants to schedule an ultrasound for chest pain.

9th: Alex wakes, face, hands and feet are swollen. Take Lily to preschool, then Alex to the dr's. Plans to meet someone at ASLS are cancelled. I cancel lunch plans with a friend because of Alex. Alex has a "mild virus". Whatever that means.

10th: Deliver the first Angel Tree gifts. Keep Alex home from school because he is not feeling well. Have to go to school anyway to pick up an Angel Tree gift and Pampered Chef order. Off to Schnucks to pickup special order gift cards. The dr's office calls. He has Strep G. What is that? They don't treat it and don't want to see him?

11th: Ultrasound of gallbladder, liver and pancreas. Take Lily to school. Deliver Angel Tree gifts. Do some errands for Christmas party. Todd leaves for Men's Retreat.

12th: Todd gone to retreat. Spend the entire day making cookies and running errands for the kids Christmas party. Angel Tree kids come at 5pm. Party ends at 8ish. Three Angel Tree gifts delivered:). Maybe home in bed by 11?

13th: No one wants to get out of bed. Sunday school, worship, Christmas cantata, lunch, deliver Angel Tree gift, pick up Lily, to church for 4pm, kids practice for their play, Alex to church at 5:30, kids Christmas program, everyone collapses in a heap of exhaustion.

14th: Take Lily to school, accompany her class to sing at a nursing home, take her back to school, go to Dollar Tree, church to get Angel Tree gift (last one!!!), clean out the flower room where all the Angel Tree stuff is kept, bank, Pakmail, post office, pick Lily back up, feed kids lunch, deliver Angel Tree gifts, Walmart to buy b-day present, home, wrap present, do a couple house things, off to party, stay til 9pm, Nathanael cranky all day (sick)?, kids can't go to sleep, way over tired, Nathanael throws up on me and the bed, change sheets, put big kids back to bed again, awake now with a crying baby, put him in the swing, blog to vent about the craziness.

15th: Nathanael is scheduled to have immunizations. The last ones causes crying for hours, temp of 103 and vomiting.

16th: MOPS meeting. Making cake. Kids perform at ASLS for their Christmas program.

17th: Alex's Jesus b-day party at class. Parents responsible to make crafts, games and run it. I am bringing....something...

18th: Lily's Jesus b-day party.....ditto from above! Evening, MOPS Christmas party.

19th: Sunday school Christmas party for adults. No babysitter as of yet.

20th: Kids have secretsanta gift exchange at church.

Ok, so maybe it's me but that's just too many frogs!!!!! I mean, on top of all the running, is laundry and errands, and bills and bills and bills, and groceries, and work outs and time to buy presents? When am I suppose to worship my Lord? Or read His Word? I fall asleep praying at night. I am interrupted in the morning. Barely have time to eat a meal with the family some days.

I am making myself and God a promise that, next year will be different. I know I am blessed and I am not complaining that I am busy from three kids. I am complaining about all the "Christmas responsibilities". It's just nutty. It's 5:27 am, Nathanael is finally asleep in the swing. I am dreading the rest of this week.

My parents are arriving on the 23th. I expect days of crazy kid behavior and lack of sleep while they are here. My fear, is that by January, I am going to be one BURNT. OUT. MAMA.

Today....

FOR TODAY....

Outside my window.....It's raining. Again. I know that God is giving all things nature their sprinkling of love but they gotta feel pretty loved by now! The leaves are almost gone from the trees. Once a year I can see the street at the bottom of the hill behind my house. I have never quite figured out what that white building is. And I'm not curious enough to find out.

I am thinking.....about the mess that is in front of me. It's ponies and crayons and books and puzzles. And that's just my kitchen table. Yep, my kitchen table. Thankfully I am in the mood to clean it today. Thinking about the week winding down. It's been a week full of odd events that have thrown me off my routine. Completely! I am excited that the kids are off school all of next week!

From the kitchen.....It was cheerios and milk, upon request, for breakfast today. I like these kind of days. I feel like a better mother when I fill their bellies full of something warm and yummy but I am grateful for a simple request today. I can see the yummy Amish bread I baked the other day. It's calling me. My lips say YES! Unfortunately, my hips say NO!

I am creating.....a family binder. Something to organize my frazzled mind. I used it years ago and am not quite sure why I quit. I think I found it took too much time to organize. LOL! You can find the tools for the binder here

I am going.....to be very proud of myself for finally blogging. Except the real credit goes to Amber Once again, she has inspired me. I am also going to enjoy the peace and quiet. It won't last for long.

I am wearing.....pink and white striped (with just a hint of sparkle) jammie bottoms with a hot pink Toronto Maple Leaf pj top.

I am reading.....Espresso For Your Spirit: Hope and Humor for Pooped Out Parents. I have been reading if for about 4 months. I am also glancing through Parent's Magazine. I only read the articles that really appeal to me. Otherwise I am left feeling like a failure after reading all the wonderful vacations and crafty things all these wonderful mothers are doing with their kids! And of course, The Bible!!

I am hoping.....for answered prayers. For Serena, who is battling ALS and is VERY sick right now. For Kelly, who had colon cancer and is still having treatments and awaiting more surgery. For Madeline Rose, an 8 month old, with a serious heart condition. For Freda, my friend's mom, who is paralysed after back surgery. For all those who do not know God that they someday come to know Him as a loving God. And the list goes on and on.

I am hearing.....the sound of the laundry, spinning. The cat pushing his water bowl around the kitchen floor. A television set, in a distance, somewhere in the house. The faint sound of God telling me that He loves me. Always.

Around the house.....is a sleeping baby. Toys scattered EVERYWHERE. Bins of clothes to sell. Bins of clothes to give away. Bins of clothes!!! Is a hard working husband. Is a grateful wife, for that hard working husband. The makings of three more Amish bread kits. Ahhh!! Traces of kids playing, kids learning and kids loving God. And this.

It reads "Oh, give thanks to The Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever". Psalm 106:1

And this...

One of my favorite things.....is that the sun JUST came out. It certainly is a beautiful fall day. Fall is my favorite time of year. I love seeing all the leaves. Makes me miss home. This is where I should be inserting an amazing picture of Hamilton, in all it's glow of yellow, orange and red. But, simply put, you don't realize what you've got until it's gone. I never took any pictures. I just took it for granted. So, I cheated.

Pictures do not do justice to it's beauty.

A few plans for the rest of my week.....To buy my sweet daughter a reward. A simple reward. For no longer sucking her fingers!!!!!!!! What an accomplishment for her. And she is so proud. And maybe I am a bit too :). To take a trip to Goodwill to get rid of some bins. Did I mention the bins??? To organize my pantry. To meet my new Parents as Teachers lady (and pray she is more person-friendly than the last one). To attend a birthday party and maybe a bonfire with friends (although the babysitting is not looking good). To help Lily practice for the Christmas play at church. To fix the bunk beds, the curtains, the shelves, the pictures in Alex's room that he "loved" too much. To hear all about "Grandparent's Day" from Lily and Alex. To enjoy every waking moment with my baby, watching him grow. To meditate on Deuteronomy 32:4.

So, today, this is how I see the world around me.

Life These Days...

is great!

is tiring.

is busy.

chaotic but GREAT!

So many things have changed over the past several months and we are still adjusting,

to a new baby.

to a three kid family

to a new church (or old church, depending on how you look at it)

to new friends and old friends

to preschool

but it's all great!

And I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Nathanael, who is now 6 months is just the bestest baby ever! He is sweet and doing so well.

Lily and Alex are in preschool (except this week 'cause we all got the kickyainthepants swine flu). Lily is loving it and doing well. Alex, hmmm, doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to get dressed, doesn't want to share...you see a pattern here?

We are back at Grace! I know, WHAT?? Yep, back at Grace and feeling God's love like never before.

Everyone's healthy and God is so good! Really, what else is there?