Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pounds To Go

I started a diet today. I've been on a new diet 203,485,382 days in a row now.

I've been overweight since, about age 13? Looking at my parents, I am not sure where I got this fat gene, but I got it, rather, it's got me. Over the years I have been on the soup diet, the cabbage soup diet, the orange diet, the weight watchers diet (3times), the I'm just gonna starve myself diet, the if I only eat a little bit of chocolate I'll be ok diet and the ever famous, I'll start again tomorrow diet. Some have worked but never lasted.

I am currently on the, make it to noon, then pig out diet. I must say, I am enjoying it. I don't even feel like I'm on a diet some days!

When I was in college I weighed, around 180 lbs. I had struggled over the years but have never hit such a number. I made myself a promise, at that time, that I would NEVER see the scale hit 200. So, I became a vegan, exercised until I dropped and lost 50 lbs. I worked at it, hard and it stayed off for years. When it slowly creeped up I was able to take it back down.

When I first met Todd I weighed 128 lbs and I ran 3-5 miles, 4-6 days a week. The gym and I were best buds. I was single, kidless and motivated to be healthy. I ate right and look good (if I do say so myself).

Then the children came along. After Lily, I hired a personal trainer and managed to get almost all of the baby weight off. Then came Alex. I lost 25 lbs in the first 6 week. About 6 months later, I put it all back on. I was teetering close to that dreaded 200 lbs. I fought over the next year or so to get the weight off but it wouldn't stay off for long. When I got pregnant with Nathanael I weighted 194 lbs. During that pregnancy I saw the scale hit 200 and continue on...... The day before I delivered Nathanael the scale read 216. Yikes!

So, here we are....dieting again. Exercising.....ummm, never. I am in a funk and discouraged and eating myself into bad health. I have something wrong with my stomach. Not, the something, a tums can cure. It's the stabbing pain through my chest, feel like I could vomit, something. And what do I do about it?? Well, the $162.00/month prescription is out of the question. The scope, that will add more $$$ to our bazillion dollars of medical bills is out of the question. And apparently, the moderate junk food, no soda, bland food only, diet is out of the question too. So, I eat crap and endure pain on a daily basis, just to fill my face or void, whatever that may be.

I wonder what it is going to take? I pray that God gives me the guidance I need or plainly, kicks me in the right direction before I regret not taking better care of my body.

So, a new diet it is again tomorrow. Wish me luck!


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"We Don't Use That Word In Our House Mom"

I HATE the dentist!! Well, not all dentists, personally, just going to the dentist. I hate the smell. I hate the sound. It makes me cringe.

Why?? Well, I was born with an allergy to milk. So, I had powdered milk, or goat's milk (yuck) instead. Not sure why it didn't occur to someone to give me a calcium supplement, but in any case, I spent many a day in the dentist chair as a child. The inside of my mouth looks like a checker board due to all the fillings. Couldn't anyone have come up with a better color for fillings?

Then, there was the whole wisdom teeth pulled, dry socket experience, from last spring. Seriously, who would think something so small, like a tooth, would cause so much pain!!

Then there's my daughter. Bless her naive little heart. "Mama, I want to go to the dentist". "Pretty please". Well, sure thing. Let me check around for prices. Ok, Dr. so-and-so, how much is a pediatric cleaning? $180.00?!?! After they revived me, I told Lily we would have to wait on that for a couple of months! God must have realized how much Lily wanted to go to the dentist because He sent me a coupon, via a MOPS friend, so that we could get the big first visit for about a quarter of the price!! Hooray!! Thanks Jen!

Lily was soooo excited. She has been counting down the days since I made the appointment. And today, was the big day!!! Boy was she excited! She brushed her teeth extra long this morning. She was so cute to watch. She was all giddy, as if she was going somewhere fun. I love the enthusiasm children have. Oh, to have enjoyment in the simple things of life again.

As soon as we opened the door, that smell, you know, that one dentisty smell, the smell that you cannot find anywhere else, hit me. Picture me shivering in yuckiness. I mean, I didn't want to be rude and hold me nose, but ewww. It just has too many bad connotations.

Lily got to sit in the big chair. I could tell she was nervous, not knowing anything about the process. But she is a trooper. She sat there, with a huge smile, enjoying every minute of it. The hygienist was super nice and so great with Lily. She explained everything, step by step. She had her teeth cleaned with strawberry toothpaste. Yummers! Her exam showed no cavities!!! And that she brushed well, as she had very little plaque. Yippee!! She had her picture taken twice, one of her teeth and one of her smiling with her newly cleaned chompers :).

When the dentist came in to meet her she only had one question. "What are you going to do?". Once he said he was going to count her teeth, she relaxed. Seemed simple enough. She was beaming when they presented her with a new toothbrush and sparkle toothpaste. The icing on the cake though was getting a toy from the toy box.

The entire experience was great. She even had to stop at Pop's on the way home to show him her shining teeth :). She cracks me up!

I hope to ride the "I love the dentist" wave for many years to come.