Pounds To Go

I started a diet today. I've been on a new diet 203,485,382 days in a row now.

I've been overweight since, about age 13? Looking at my parents, I am not sure where I got this fat gene, but I got it, rather, it's got me. Over the years I have been on the soup diet, the cabbage soup diet, the orange diet, the weight watchers diet (3times), the I'm just gonna starve myself diet, the if I only eat a little bit of chocolate I'll be ok diet and the ever famous, I'll start again tomorrow diet. Some have worked but never lasted.

I am currently on the, make it to noon, then pig out diet. I must say, I am enjoying it. I don't even feel like I'm on a diet some days!

When I was in college I weighed, around 180 lbs. I had struggled over the years but have never hit such a number. I made myself a promise, at that time, that I would NEVER see the scale hit 200. So, I became a vegan, exercised until I dropped and lost 50 lbs. I worked at it, hard and it stayed off for years. When it slowly creeped up I was able to take it back down.

When I first met Todd I weighed 128 lbs and I ran 3-5 miles, 4-6 days a week. The gym and I were best buds. I was single, kidless and motivated to be healthy. I ate right and look good (if I do say so myself).

Then the children came along. After Lily, I hired a personal trainer and managed to get almost all of the baby weight off. Then came Alex. I lost 25 lbs in the first 6 week. About 6 months later, I put it all back on. I was teetering close to that dreaded 200 lbs. I fought over the next year or so to get the weight off but it wouldn't stay off for long. When I got pregnant with Nathanael I weighted 194 lbs. During that pregnancy I saw the scale hit 200 and continue on...... The day before I delivered Nathanael the scale read 216. Yikes!

So, here we are....dieting again. Exercising.....ummm, never. I am in a funk and discouraged and eating myself into bad health. I have something wrong with my stomach. Not, the something, a tums can cure. It's the stabbing pain through my chest, feel like I could vomit, something. And what do I do about it?? Well, the $162.00/month prescription is out of the question. The scope, that will add more $$$ to our bazillion dollars of medical bills is out of the question. And apparently, the moderate junk food, no soda, bland food only, diet is out of the question too. So, I eat crap and endure pain on a daily basis, just to fill my face or void, whatever that may be.

I wonder what it is going to take? I pray that God gives me the guidance I need or plainly, kicks me in the right direction before I regret not taking better care of my body.

So, a new diet it is again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Kelly