Sunday, March 15, 2009

Still Needed?

I was really tired this morning, lacking any energy. I napped at 11:00, before having a shower. I just couldn't get moving. I have had a hard time, the past couple of days...feeling unneeded. I feel completely separated from my household. I don't know what's going on half the time and almost feel as if they have moved on without me. It's really hard to see your whole world go on without you in it. I wanted to just cry and cry it all out last night but every time I started to cry, someone came into my room. I haven't had a really good cry since this all started and I felt like I needed it. I, unfortunately, took some of my frustration out on Todd when he arrived with the kids today. Then I was crying in front of the kids, while I was yelling at Todd. Never a good thing.
After my mini-breakdown, I tried to enjoy my visit with the kids. I can't say I am feeling very upbeat at this moment, but at least I am not sobbing! I am going to try and relax, read my book and maybe watch a little tv.
I am grateful to God for another day, pregnant, regardless of the circumstances. I trust that all of this is part of His plan and that I will make it through it, one day at a time.



  1. Oh Kelly, hang in there. You are needed everywhere, but mostly by baby Nathan right now. Saying prayers for you now! Love ya, Mary

  2. You know I had an idea a couple weeks ago, but I never thought to mention it to you. What if you prepared some notes to give to Todd to give/read to the kids each morning at the start of the day. The notes would be good morning messages from you, I love you, hope you slept well and then some instructions on what you needed them to do for you that day. i.e.: listen to daddy, get dressed, brush your teeth without complaining. You can tell them what the day is going to be like: are they gping anywhere, what are they going to do, make suggestions for their clothes and ask them to do a simple chore to help daddy keep the hosue straight.
    I'm not sure if you think this is a good idea or not, but it is just a thought. These notes would be in your writing and the kids will hopefully see that they need you to help them know what to do each day.